Alex In Hogwarts
by Simply Prettyful
Summary: Alex goes to England to start Hogwarts! Inspired and based on the fan fiction 'Of Mischief and Magic!
1. First year

_**Alex In Hogwarts**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own either of Wizards of Waverly Place**_

_**or Harry Potter**_

**A/N:**** When Teresa says the word **_**novio**_** to Alex, it means sweetheart as a noun in spanish not swimming in Welsh. Also this was inspired by '**_**Of Mischief and Magic'**_**. Read it. It's good. Seriously! :)**

_First Year_

Another School?

"Theres a wizard school apart from WizTech?" Alex Russo, aged eleven, asked.

"Yes, Alex," her father, Jerry Russo, nodded. "It's the boarding school Justin went to last year."

"Oh... he went to a boarding school?" Alex never usually noticed what her dorky brother did. "I thought he went to some lame after school club every day..."

"Alex, novio, we won't send you if you don't want to go," Teresa Russo stroked her daughters long cury hair.

"Right. It doesn't matter if we found your report card," Jerry shrugged.

"Jerry!" Teresa scolded, looking shocked at her husband.

"What?" Jerry said, trying to look and sound innocent. "She deseves to know that its this or punishment."

"If I go, can I have a broom?" Alex wondered aloud.

"First year students aren't allowed to have brooms at school, Alex, but if you do well, I'll get you a Nimbus 2000 for christmas," Jerry promised. "You just won't be allowed to take it to school."

"Fine," Alex huffed, crossing her arms.

"Oh, and there are four houses," Teresa nodded enthusiastically. "You'll get sorted into them when you get there. They're called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. I was in Hufflepuff. Your dad was in Ravenclaw when he went for the last year at Hogwarts."

"I didn't know you have magic, Mom," Alex looks confused. Her mother had never taught her any spells or potions or even a hex!

"I do, sweetie," her mother nodded. "But I'm not an American wizard. I went to Hogwarts because I was what they call Muggle born. Muggle means a non-wizard. I learnt all of my magic at Hogwarts so I couldn't teach you the American stuff."

"What about Max? Will he go to WizTech or Hogwarts? He's bound to notice I'm gone" Alex asked.

"He'll go to Hogwarts when he's ready," Jerry shrugged.

"And if he gets a letter like you and Justin did," Teresa nodded.

"I got a letter? When?" Alex wrinkled her nose.

x-x-x-x-x

Making Friends

"Where's Alex going?" Max asked as the train set off. The red Hogwarts Express puffed away with two Russo children aboard. Alex and Justin waved from two seperate compartments for saftey.

"To Hogwarts, Max," Jerry supplied.

"What ever," Max shrugged rubbing his hands together. "Am I your only child now or what?"

Jerry lifted his index finger and opened his mouth before closing it and shaking his head. Max always got the wrong ideas about things. This was just one of those things.

On the trian, Alex was sitting alone in a compartment, looking out the window at the rushing scenery. England was wierd to Alex. The cars drove on the wrong side of the road and she felt nauseous when riding in a bus. The train was better. It ran smoothly and surely along its tracks that never seemed to ware down, even though the train had made the journey many, many times.

"Uh, excuse me?" a timid voice came from the door. "Can I join you? Only there's no where else to go."

Alex turmed and saw the boy. He had dark hair and vivid green eyes. She nodded and went back to staring out the window.

"I'm Harry," the boy said. "Harry Potter. What's your name?"

"I'm Alex Russo," she said. She really couldn't care less about who he was, she was nervous about the school more than anything else as trivial as making friends. Another knock.

"Ex-excuse me? Can I join you?" a ginger boy asked hesitantly.

"Sure," Alex mumbled into her hand.

"I'm Ron, by the way," said Ron, sitting opposite Harry. "Ron Weasley."

"Alex Russo," Alex repeated. She couldn't concentrate on the moving trees and hills out side so turned around to met the eyes of the dark hair boy.

"Harry, Harry Potter," Harry said quietly. You could almost hear Rons mouth drop with astonishment.

"Y-you mean your..your," Ron couldn't get the words out.

"Yes, he just said who he was," Alex rolled her eyes. "What's so special about him?"

"You mean you don't know?" Ron looked at her in scorn.

"I don't even know," Harry shrugged. "No one will tell me because they won't say Vol-"

"Don't say it!" Ron shouted. Alex jumped at his sudden outburst.

"Why is it taboo or something?" Alex wondered who or what they were on about.

"Not anymore but no one says his name," Ron looked panicky and pink. "It just doesn't feel right. Like he's going to come back and kill everyone which my mum says will never happen."

"Bit of a 'mummys boy', Ron?" Alex asked in her best mock-English accent, pouting her lip in a mocking fashion.

"No."

x-x-x-x-x

"What was that about, Harry?" Alex whispered as the first years hurried through the hall after Professor McGonagall. Some kid called _Malfoy, Draco Malfoy _tried to offer Harry his friendship and failed miserably.

"I don't know. Everyone thinks I'm famous," Harry whispers back.

"I guessed that, Sherlock," Alex rolled her eyes as Professor McGonagall stopped.

"Now, I will place the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses," the witch said holding a long, long list and a manky old hat.

"Ew, I'm not wearing that!" Alex mumbled. "Its disgusting and dirty and not a very good fashion accessory."

"I don't think that matters," a bushy haired girl snapped at Alex.

After a while, the line dwindled to just under half of what it had been when, "Harry Potter."

A mass of whispers transpired as Harry sat on the stool and closed his eyes tightly. Things were uttered like "It's him! It's Harry Potter!" and "OMFG! Its Harry Potter!". The four houses leaned forward in expectation.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat called. A tabel clad in red and black robes cheers.

Alex looked around for Justin. He was sitting on a table with blue instead of red. He looked very disapointed. He looked up and caught sight of his sister and smiles, holding up his thumbs. _Everythings gonna be alright_. Thats when Alex started humming that reggae song. You know the one.

"Alex Russo."

Alex was humming in the midst of a massive silence. She stopped,"Oh, you mean me. Sorry." She ran up to the stool and let the hat sit on her head, scowling at how it wasn't very fashionable.

"Alex Russo? Another Russo? Well, you're very different to your brother, now, aren't you?" the hat whispered into her ear. "You think its funny to insult the Sorting Hat? Well. You have plenty of _courage_ and are very _brave_. but your also cunning and manipulative. Where, oh, where to put you? It better be...GRYFFINDOR!"

Alex ran and sat next to Harry. Harry grinned and playfully punched her arm. Alex didn't mind. At least she had a friend here. Justin caught her eye and she grinned at him. He smirked back.

x-x-x-x-x

Midnight FAIL!

Alex couldn't believe Hermione Granger had woken her up to chase after Harry and Ron _because they might lose Gryffindor points!_ God, this girl was annoying. She was such a swot and a goody-goodie! Alex started humming again.

"Quit humming, Alex," Hermione scolded.

"Fine," Alex huffed. She smiled mischieviously. "I'll sing. GOODY! GOODY! GOODY GOODY YUM YUM!"

"Why are you singing the tune of 'The Goodies'?" Hermione asked confused.

"Because I fucking love Bill Oddey, that's why," Alex snorted with laughter.

"Okay..." Hermione said as they approached the trophy room door. The boys were inside. "Can you please refrain from swearing?"

"Fuck no," Alex grinned. Hermine had cast her eyes to the heavens and looked for help. They went through the door and crept down the stone steps.

"Hello?" Harry called when he saw the shadows.

"Harry," Alex yawned. "What the fuck are you doing down here?"

"Oh, Alex, its you. We're thought you were Malfoy," Ron said happily. His expression changed when he saw Hermione. "Wha'cha bring her for?"

"She woke me up," Alex pouted. "And then almost physically dragged me here to get you."

"I did not!" Hermione protested. "I thought you could knock some sense into them."

"Why do you sound so posh?" Alex changed the subject.

"My parents are dentists?" Hermione tried.

"That explains your teeth," Harry mentioned. Hermione glared at him. "I mean, they're so white and shiny."

"Well, if Malfoy hasn't turned up, he gets a fail," Alex nodded. "A fail at life."

x-x-x-x-x

Trick or Troll?

Alex looked at the big grey troll in front of her. "Oh, boy," she squeeked. "Your a big boy, ent cha?"

"What?" came Hermiones voice from behind her.

The troll blinked at her and swung his club. Hermione ran back into the cubicle and ducked. Alex simply ducked and stuck her middle finger up at the thing as Harry, Ron and her brother ran through the door.

"Alex!" they all called at once. "Move!"

Alex ran and tried to hide under a sink. The troll tried hit her but hit the sink behind her instead with his club. Alex screamed and ran for a cubicle. "Justin! Help!"

"Harry! Do something!" Justin commanded.

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"Anything!" Justin shouted. He was twelve and couldn't think why Harry Potter, the great hero, couldn't save his sister. When Harry and Ron started throwing pieces of wood and ceramic sink at the troll. He tried to think of a spell to help them.

"Hey!" shouted Harry.

"Pea brain!" Ron called.

Justin took his chance, "This troll shouldn't be here in school, so make it into a much more useful wooden stool!"

No one heard the made up spell so no questions were asked. When the teachers came and saw the wooden stool with a massive club next to it no one knew how it was done except Alex and Justin who kept thier mouths zipped. The American kind of magic was unknown to the first years.

"W-w-what h-h-h-hap-happened t-t-t-to the t-t-t-t-troll?" Professor Quirell stuttered away.

"It had a bad case of trick or troll?" Alex tried. "So it dressed up like a stool?"

x-x-x-x-x

Choking on a fork, Harry?

"How'd you get a detention?" Hermione asked Alex at dinner.

"I was walking back to the common room chatting to Seamus when Snape appeared from nowhere," Alex told her. "He heard me call him a nickname is all."

"A nickname?" Hermione asked.

"Yep. Its a name that people-" Alex started.

"I know what a nickname is, Alex," Hermione scowled.

"Oh."

Harry ran up to the girls and sat down, "Hi, girls." He started to wolf down a plate full of chicken and vegetables.

"Uh, ew. Why're you eating like that?" Alex asked in disgust.

"I've got detention with Snape in five minutes," Harry garbled.

"Really? So have I. Want to walk there together?" Alex asked uncharacteristically.

Harry went a bright postbox red,"Uh... sure?"

Alex smiled catishly and got up. She grabbed hold of his wrist and ran down the Grand Hall dragging Harry behind her. In the corner of her eye she saw a certain platinum boy watching her almost purposfully. She didn't care; it didn't matter. By the time they even got to the dungeon entrance Harry had to stop her and started to keel over and cough.

"Why are you coughing?" Alex asked simply.

"I'm...*breath in heavily*..chocking, *cough*, Alex!" Harry coughed. Alex rolled her eyes and hit his back so hard a fork flew across the room, covered in saliver. "Thanks." Harry could have kissed her for that but that would be wierd.

"Choking on a fork, Harry? Really?" Alex asked raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. _How cartoony._

x-x-x-x-x

A Christmas Holiday

"Daddy!" Alex squeeled as she ran into her fathers waiting arms.

"Oh, Alex," Jerry almost cried.

"Alex!" Max bounded to his sister. "Can you taste this? It tastes a bit strange. Its familiar but I can't tell what it is."

Alex glanced at the hamburger in his hand and cleared her throat. "Max. That's your ceramic hamburger."

"So it tastes like ceramic?" Max asked.

"Uh...sure!" Alex nodded vigerously. "And ceramic tastes nice, Max. Go find out!"

Alex watched as her little brother ran off up the stairs to eat his ornament in peace. Justin came by her side.

"Do you like Hogwarts?" he asked quietly. Alex turned and smiled sweetly.

"Why?"

"Just wondering. At christmas there's a ball in London for students at Hogwarts," Justin nodded. "Dad said we're welcome to go but we need to catch up on wizard lessons here first."

"Oh..." A ball, huh? Sounds like fun. Maybe she would go. Then she groaned when she remembered what the other part of what Justin had said was. "More lessons? This is meant to be a holiday! A _christmas_ holiday for crying out loud!"

x-x-x-x-x

Cheesy Alert

Someone tapped Alex's shoulder. She turned, her powder blue dress robes whirling. It was a boy with platinum blonde hair and a serious look. Alex recognised him instantly.

"Hi. I'm-" he strated.

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. Yeah, yeah. What you want?" Alex asked boredly.

"Want to dance?" he asked coolly. Alex blinked. He was a Slytherin that got a FAIL! on life. Did she want to dance with him?

Alex sighed, "Sure. I've got nothing better to do."

Alex tried to be cool about it but she had to admit that when he put his hand on her waist a tingle went down her spine. She felt as though something was going to happen at this ball. _FINALLY!_

"You've danced before?" Draco asked. "Your very light on your feet."

_CHEESY ALERT! CHEESY ALERT! STEP AWAY FROM THE FAILURE IN LIFE!_ Alex's Cheesedar went off but she ignored it, "Not really. I'm half Mexican and half Italian so I only know a few steps of Latin-American dancing."

"You could have fooled me," Draco said. They stopped and noticed the floating mistletoe above them. Draco looked at Alex, his pale face had aqquired a slightly pink tinge. He lent in and Alex closed her eyes. She held her breath and ... ran off before Malfoy could kiss her.

"FAIL!" Alex called behind her shoulder at him.

Justin was chatting to some other Ravenclaw friends when Alex bumped into him. _Damn high heels!_ Alex thought.

"Alex, What are you doing?" he asked in a low tone.

"I'm runing away from a Slytherin that wanted to kiss me!" Alex said hurridly. "Can I borrow the mail key to go home?"

"Why didn't you let him kiss you?" Justin asked in a mocking voice.

"He's a Slytherin and I'm a Gryffindor! Can't be done! EVER!" Alex spelled it out for him.

"Fine."

x-x-x-x-x

Mirror of Desire

Alex was sat on the floor in front of the huge mirror. She was watching her desires. They were mainly to be a full wizard and win the competition but she didn't have a chance against Justin. He was the smart cookie in the biscuit barrel that was the Russo family. He even outsmarted Jerry at times. He would manage either way if he won or lost. He had Muggle and Wizard smarts. Alex was smart, too, but mostly in pranks, stealing from Justin and un-common sense (e.g. lying in bed all day is a GRRRRRRRRRReat idea!) but she couldn't imagine living without magic. They all knew Max was going to lose anyway. He knew it himself.

They all matched with Jerry, Kelbo and Megan; Justin and Jerry; Max and Kelbo and Alex and Megan. They were just repeating history. Justin would fall for a Muggle or a witch outside of the American system. Max would get his powers and Alex would be shoved away like dirty laundry.

"Alex?" Alex turned to see Harry. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. Come to stare at yourself in the mirror, Harry?" Alex mockingly smiled, her accent had contracted a posh English twang.. "How vain."

Harry laughed. "What do you see?"

"I see myself with my Mum and Dad," Alex lied. "I miss them."

"I see my parents, too," Harry admits. "And the rest of my family."

"I see you have discovered the Mirror of Erised," said a Professor Dumbledore who popped out of nowhere.

"Erised? Isn't that desire spelled backwards?" Alex asked.

"Not if you write it down then hold it in front of a mirror, Miss Russo," Dumbledore's eye twinkled. ACTUALLY FREAKING TWINKLED! I MEAN WHOS EYES DO THAT? Wierd.

"Then why not call it the Mirror of Desire?" Alex frowned.

"Ah, Miss Russo, that is the wrong sort of question," Dumbledore nodded.

"What do you see, Professor?" Harry asked him.

"Me? I see myself sha- I mean _holding _a pair of socks," Dumbledore looked across the room with an alarmed face.

x-x-x-x-x

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

"Now class I hope your ready for the test," Professor Flitwick reminded the class of the test that everyone but Alex had revised for.

_Uh oh!_ Alex's mind raced. _What test? What test? WHAT EFFING TEST! _Then an idea struck.

The test was on basic spells a first year should know. The Gryffindors had Charms with Hufflepuff. She waited until the test was half way through and cast a spell with her American magic to stop time.

"This should be easier," Alex grinned as she took her paper and hopped over in front of Hermione who was rechecking her answers for the tenth time before the spell. Alex copied down every answer and then hopped back to her place. She sat down and time started again. Ron was sitting next to her and wondered what she was muttering.

"Nothing important, Ron," Alex said catishly. She did the spell again and placed a glass of water above the professors head, wrote things on pieces of parchment like 'you are going to die in seven days!' on them and put them in the pockets of nine Hufflepuffs and a few Gryffindors. She knew she had to stop soon hopping soon so she just hopped back to her seat again to watch the outcome of her prank on Flitwick.

It was hilarious! Water fell down from nowhere and Flitwick, being small with hardly any body mass, was drenched. She laughed at least. A few others too. Flitwick looked confused. Alex spent the rest of the day using the spell on other teachers (except on McGonagall who knew of her American magic.)

x-x-x-x-x

Moldymort the Gay Lord Peado!

And four became two as Hermione had dashed back through the purple flames and Ron was still in the chess room. Alex was alone with Harry in a room with a scary looking teacher.

"Harry, who's that?" Alex whispered to her friend.

"Alex, that's the Deafence Against the Dark Arts teacher," Harry said back. The teacher was staring at them in a peadophilic fashion.

"And you are?" he asked Alex.

"I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?" Alex laughed.

"I am a servent of the Dark Lord," Quirell sneered.

"Who's the Dork Lord?" Alex grinned.

"I said Dark! The Dark Lord! Dark!" Quirell shouted.

"It did sound like dork," Harry chimed in.

"Stupid children! I'll make you pay!" Quirell started to undo his stinky turban.

"You look like a terrorist with that on. Have you ever bombed any place? Because if you have, your in for it!" Alex asked seriously.

"No, girl!" A snake-ish voice came from the back of Quirell's head. Alex looked at the mirror behind them. A face on the back of Quirells head was speaking. _Freaky!_

"Oh. Is that the Dork Lord?" Alex asked innocently. "Only I heard he's gay."

"I am not gay!" Voldemort cried.

"Then are _you_ a terrorist?" Alex narrowed her eyes.

"What? No! What gave you-"

"Only you made your gay lover wear a turban," Alex interrupted.

"He's not my lover!" Voldemort screamed. "I am Lord Voldemort!"

Alex shook her head. "Nah uh!"

"Uh huh!" Voldemort argued back.

"Nuh uh!"

"Am!"

"Not!"

"Am!"

"Am!"

"Not!" said Voldemort triuphantly. "Damn! If thats not my own name that I gave myself what is?"

"Moldymort the peadophilic Gay Lord of Dorks," Alex said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Duh!"

"Moldymort?"

"Because your moldy and old news," Alex shrugged.

"Peadophilic?"

"You tried to rape Harry but you got PWND by a baby," Alex shrugged again.

"Gay?"

"The answer is your arse and body," Alex pointed at Quirell.

"Dorks?"

"You are one!" Alex laughed.

"Just for that I'm going to kill you!" Moldy shrieked. He came from Quirells head in a black cloud of vapour. Garry dived in the way but ended up putting his hands on Quirell's face, as if to kiss him. Alex got the full blow of Voldemort's attack and callapsed, shuddering on the floor. Her world turned to black and white.

x-x-x-x-x

Bonus Points! Boo ya!

Alex sat at the Gryffindor table with her arm in a sling. She was lucky to have survived. _ I can't beleived I was mind raped by Moldy! _she thought as the hall entered silence. The hall was decked out in green because Slytherin had gotten the cup. Again. For the seventh year in a row.

"Another year has come and gone," Dumbledore announced and launched into his speech. Alex only started listening when he said, "However recent events must be taken into account and I have a few bonus points to give out. Firstly, to a Mr Ronald Weasley for playing a mean game of chess and giving Hogwarts the best show of it in all of Hogwarts many, many years, I award Gryffindor fifty points."

The Gryffindor table cheered the loudest of all the three table that weren't Slytherin, "That's my brother, you know, my youngest brother! He got past McGongall's giant chess set, he did." Percy Perfect Prefect shouted proudly.

"Second to a Miss Hermione Granger for use of logic when faced with a riddle and fire, I award Gryffindor fifty points."

More cheers. Strangly from the Ravenclaw table mostly.

"Third to a Mr Harry Potter for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award sixty points."

Even more cheers because Gryffindor was neck and neck with Slytherin.

"Fourth to a Miss Alexia***** Russo for outstanding bravery and courage in the face of evil and fear, I award sixty points to Gryffindor."

The cheers rose. They had left Slytherin in the dust! The total now was 532. Justin was cheering for his little sister more than any of them. He shouted, "That's my sister! She helped!"

"And finally, before we start the feast, it takes great bravery to stabd up to our enemies but even greater to stand up to our friends, and for that reason, I award to Mr Neville Longbottom ten points."

Neville had never been so popular. He was so swamped by hugs that he could no longer be seen.

"So I think a change of decoration is in order," Dumbledore announced and clapped his hands before spreading them out. The Slytherin colours of green and silver changed to that of the Gryffindor scarlet and gold. The serpents on the Slytherin banner changed to a honking great lion.

x-x-x-x-x

Muggle Talk

Kings Cross station was packed on the little platform nine and three quarters. Alex and the gang pushed thier trolleys towards the gate with Justin who was still grinning about Slytherins great defeat and how his sister had helped.

"All of you have to come and stay over this summer," Ron announced.

"Thanks," said Harry gratefully. "I need something to look forward to."

"Can Justin come?" Alex asked. She wanted her brother for entertainment and becasue she'd never felt closer to him.

"Sure," Ron smiled at her older brother.

"Thanks," Justin smiled back.

They were still chatting as they went through the barrier. Mrs Weasley was there waiting with Ginny, Ron's little sister. Mrs Wealey hushed Ginny and smiled warmly, "Busy year?"

"Very," said Harry at the same time Alex answered with, "Extremely."

Harry thanked Mrs Weasley for some christmas present when Alex nudged Harry in the ribs and pointed off at some purple faced man with a mustache chatting to Jerry and Teresa. They waved goodbye and Alex, Harry and Justin walked slowly up to the trio of adults.

"Uh..hi," Alex smiled at the purple man. He studied her trolley and his face darkened. Alex turned to her parents. "Uh.. can we go now?"

"Hello sir," Justin held his hand out to purple man but the man just stared at it like it was a piece of crap. "I'm Justi Russo." And at that moment, his phone began to ring. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. "Uh, one moment. Its my friend, Zeke."

Harry looked at Vernon with a sullen expression.

"Ready to go, are you?" he asked. He turned to the Russo parents. "Goodbye."

When they had gone, Alex asked why they were talking to him and they answered, "It was a bit of Muggle chat. Besides, he wasn't the most pleasant. He thought we were muggles."

"Well he gets a FAIL and a PWN then," Alex decided. Next year was going to be fun, Alex just knew it. Or was it... maybe bu I ain't no fortune teller.

_**A/N:**_** Thank you for reading the first chapter folks! Please R/R for the next chapter. Whoo! This took me a week to write! Real pleased with meself, I am!**

*****I like the name Alexia and didn't know what Alex's full name is.

**Coming Soon to a computor near you:**

**Alex In Hogwarts**

**Year Two!**


	2. Second Year

_**Alex In England**_

_**A/N:**_** Heyy folks! I'm updating! FINALLY! I must be the worst updater IN THE HISTORY OF EVER! Sorry! Also, thanks for all the reviews and the favorited and alerts! It feels good to be loved. Merry Christmas!**

**Warning: A LOT of swearing from here on out.**

**I also have no idea what year Fred and George are in so I put them in Justin's year.**

**(Its also my 15th birthday on new years eve. Just saying...)**

_Second Year_

We're Just Borrowing Your Nephew Until Next Summer

"Harry!" Alex whispered at Harry's sleeping face. She slapped his face and he shot upright. Blinking, he put his glasses on.

"Alex?" he used his confuzzed expression. "What're you doing here?"

"Sightseeing," Alex rolled her brown eyes. "Its a jail-break, Harry. Like on 'Shawshank Redemption'. We have to make a hole in the wall and climb down onto the pipes before we get into them and swim out into a near-by lake and swim through sewage whilst stripping ourselves of our prison uniforms and making a break for Mexico!"

"Wow," Harry said in awe. "That sounds like a brilliant movie."

"That's just the bit the guy escapes," Alex nodded knowingly. "Theres also a bit of gay rape in it."

"Or maybe not," Harry shrugged. "What're we actually going to do?"

"We're going to Ron's place," Alex's American accent scratched through. "You were invited remember? You can help me prank Justin because he's there too."

"How're we going to get there?" Harry asked. Alex grinned and pointed to the window. Harry's eyes widened at the sight of his bestest friend in Hogwarts in a blue flying car. He could even see the bumper sticker displaying the message 'I 3 muggles!' for all to see when the cars visable.

"Hiya, Harry," Ron greeted. "Get'cha stuff into the car and we'll be off."

"I can't," Harry said. "My school stuffs all locked up downstairs because my Uncle Vernon's a big meany pants that needs to lose some weight."

"No arguments here. Fred, George," Alex took the helm. "Go pick the lock and report back to me with Harry's school things."

"Aye, aye, Captain," they chorused.

Alex pointed her English wand at the locked door, "_Alohomora_!" The door swung open silently because of Petunia's OCD with keeping the house clean and shiny. The twins snook off. Alex turned back to Harry. "Get changed. You can't go in your PJs. You look bloody stupid."

"Uh.." Harry looked around desperately.

Alex sighed, "Fine. I'll turn around but I might look over my shoulder."

Fred and George hurried back after half an hour, using _Wingardium Leviosar_ to levitate the luggage into the car. Harry took hold of the cage. Harry scrambled in but Alex, being last, dithered a bit because she had to sit on George's lap on the ride back. He'd been making jokes the whole way there.

"Your not going anywhere!" a thundering voice sounded right behind Alex.

"Uh...hi, Vernon..." Alex felt a bit awkward. She dug ino her pocket and found a small heap of gold. "We're just borrowing your nephew until next summer."

"No. No your not," Vernon sneered at the girl. "And we will never be on first name terms."

"I have money. Genuine gold," Alex showed him. Vernon's expression changed.

On the ride back to the Burrow, Alex couldn't help but laugh. George kept jigging his knee up and down.

"What's so funny, you sex kitten?" George mocked as he gripped her waist.

"It wasn't real gold I gave him!" Alex laughed, slapping his hands away. "It was fairy gold. The kind that turns to pig shit in the morning."

x-x-x-x-x

We're Not Retarded Unlike You

"Russo," a familiar voice whispered into Alex's ear. "You're looking especially sexy today."

The young Russo turned and almost slammed into George. The third-year smiled and she playfully punched him in the chest. Justin had gotten the books they both needed earlier on.

"How're you doing, Lexia?" George smiled. "Wana head out? Its kinda stuffy in here."

"Yeah, why not," Alex grinned back. Only, they would have made it outside if Harry, Hermione, Justin and the other Weasley siblings weren't argueing with a certain platinum blonde and an older likeness of him.

"Your family sucks ass!" the older Malfoy declared.

"Yeah, well, you sucked Moldymort off for ages before Harry PWNED him as a baby, Fuckface," Alex joined in. No one insulted her bitches. NO one. EVER!

"And you are?" old Malfoy asked the brunette wizard girl.

"I am Miss Alexia Russo and you, sir, are the gayest man I have ever seen," she told him. "Now give Ginny her fucking book back and fuck back to the shit hole you live in, you fucking homo bastard!"

"A new record, Russo," Draco glared at the girl. "Six swears in one conversation."

"Oh, I can do more, Malfoy. All of us can. Because we're not retarded unlike you. Now, do as I say and get back to the crap hole that you call home."

"Why, you little insufferable cow," Big Malfoy stuck his finger up at her. George gripped her shoulder. Why? To stop Alex from jumping at the guy and shoving his head up his sons arse? Yeah, maybe. The Malfoy's got away and Georges's grip lessoned but he still held on.

"Are you okay, Alex?" Ginny whispered. "You've gone bright red."

x-x-x-x-x

Cruise, Marry, Shag

Alex stared out the compartment window. She, George, Ginny and Fred were sitting inside the cozy little cabin.

"Where's Harry and Ron?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"Dunno," Alex told her. "They were right behind me and Justin when we went through the barrier but we didn't see them come onto the train."

The trolley lady trundled to a stop out side the compartment, "Anything from the trolley, m'dears?"

"Packet of droobles and a pumpkin pasty," Alex ordered. "Oh, and ten chocolate frogs, please."

The trolley lady nodded and Alex paid, "Thank you."

Alex sat down opposite George, who smiled at her when she gave him a chocolate frog. Fred and Ginny gave each other a knowing look. They knew George liked Alex. His face goes red at her mention and he stutters when Fred pulls her up in a conversation about girls.

Hermione appeared at the door, "Hi, everyone. Have you seen harry and Ron?"

"No," Fred blinked. "Lets go look for them. C'mon Ginny."

"We'll help," Alex offered.

"No, no," Fred grinned impishly. "You and George stay here in case they find our compartment."

Fred, Ginny and Hermione cleared out quickly. George opened his mouth but Alex silenced him with a hand.

"I know your there, Fred, Justin," Alex shouted. She pulled out her wand. "_Accio Justin_!"

Justin flew from behind the door and slammed into the window in front of Alex and George. Fred laughed and gave his cover up.

"That was funny," Fred managed with his breath stolen by giggles.

"Just go find Harry," George shoved them out the compartment and closed the door. He pulled down the blinds and sat down again. Alex blushed and looked at the passing valley. England wasn't as sweet as America but it was very pretty.

"Are you okay?" George asked. Alex turned and her mind clicked. She nodded and stood up. She pulled George up as she went and hugged him.

"I'm really glad your here, George," she whispered. "I'm just so nervous about this year."

"Don't be. Second year is easier than first," George mumbled into her shoulder length curls. Alex hugged him harder.

"Can we play a game to pass the time?" she asked casually.

"Anything," George's voice seemed more hushed.

Alex pulled away, smiling brightly, "let's play 'Cruise, Marry, Shag'."

"Uh, okay," George looked dazed. "How do you play?"

"I give you the names of three people and you have to decide which one you'd go on a cruise with, which one you'd marry and which one you'd shag. I can give you a mix of boys and girls, mind."

"Can I put myself in the three?"

"Sure."

"Can I go first?"

"Okay."

"Okay... Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan," George looked satisfied.

"Tough one," Alex laughed as she and George sat down next to each other. "Lets see... I'd go on a cruise with Neville. Shag Harry and marry Seamus."

"Why marry Seamus?"

"He'd make me laugh with the constant explosions."

"Oh," George got it.

"My turn," Alex took a moment. "Hermione, me and... Professor McGonagall."

"Easy. I'd go on a cruise with McGonagall, marry Hermione and shag you," George smiled cheekily. Alex laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. George made a silent vow: never to wash the cheek again... until later when he had a shower.

x-x-x-x-x

Of Crime And Passwords

"Why couldn't you get through the barrier?" Alex asked as she, Harry and Ron made their way to the common room.

"We don't know," Harry told her. Ron still had a sandwich in his hand. "It must have sealed because the clock read eleven o'clock. "

"The train leaves at exactly eleven o'clock, you know," Alex pointed out.

"We don't bloody know!" Ron almost threw his sandwich at her. It actually hit a near-by suit of armour with a thump.

"So, I came up with the idea about flying the car," Harry concluded. Alex stopped outside the Fat Lady's portraight.

"I am genuinely proud of you guys," she smiled. "Hijacking a car then flying it in broad daylight evn if it was to school."

"Please tell me it isn't true," Hermione ran up to them. "Please say you didn't fly here in a car."

"They did and I'm proud of my frineds here, Hermione," Alex slung her arms around the pair.

"That's not good! They were seen by no less than seven muggles," Hermione screeched.

"Whatever, 'Mione," Alex flicked her hair behind her ear. She waited a moment. "Damn!"

"Damn? Damn what?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, what's up, Alex?" Ron asked.

"Don't tell me..." Hermione murmered, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I can't remember the password," Alex said, head down and defeated. Hermione's smile disappeared.

"The password's 'wattlebird'," Hermione sighed. The portrait swung open.

"You know? These passwords get stupider every year," Alex nodded as the awaiting Gryffindors pulled them inside.

x-x-x-x-x

The Only Exception

"Justin. I have to say it; you cocked that one up BIG TIME!" Alex scowled as he came up to her for the thirteenth time in the twenty seconds. "I mean how hard is it to fucking kiss the girl?"

"I know, I know," Justin looked down ashamed. He was a third year and never kissed a girl. FAIL! And it was Eliska Lockbreak. Ravenclaws primo girl of this years third year. The blonde was sitting on the far side of the Ravenclaw common room, her hair dripping with water. "Just do the do-over spell one more time. I know I can do it right."

"Fine. But Eliska better get kissed properly this time," Alex pouted. She waved her hand then pointed whilst chanting, "_McReary Time-Reary_!"

Time went back and everyone in the common room felt a strange sense like they's done this already. What was that French phrase? Deja vu? Whatever. This narrator took Spanish not French. Eliska was rubbing her foot on Justin's ankle and they leaned in. Alex took her wand out.

"_Depulso,_" she whispered and pointed at the kettle. It was sat on a neat ornamental table in front of the fire place. Or at least it did until Alex sent it flying to the other side of the room. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!" The kettle stopped at her suggestion. She placed it down and looked at the couple in time to see them part. Crap! She missed it! Justin had already kissed Eliska. He grinned at Alex when they had finished.

Later, in the Grand Hall, Eliska and Justin had temporarily seperated from each others lips and he was standing at the door with Alex.

"So who was your first kiss, Alex?" Justin asked.

Alex's face hardened. "It, uh, was... that Slytherin at the Christmas Ball."

"Alex, you ran away from him, remember," Justin smirked. "You haven't kissed anyone!"

"Psh, I have kissed someone," Alex said slowly, her mind racing.

"Oh, really? Who?"

"Uh..."

"I knew it! I totally have this over you!" Justin punched the air.

"Okay, Dork," Alex scowled. "Run off to your girlfriend then look over at the Gryffindor table."

Sniggering, Justin did so. Alex cracked her knuckles and rolled her head. She waltzed into the Grand Hall and located George. Smiling, she walked up to the boy.

"Hey, Justin!" Alex called. She kissed George. It went on for a minute and then Alex began to hear people suggestivly coughing. She parted, smiling. She turned back to Justin. "Now, you've got nothing over me."

George was bright red. He never thought in a million years Alex would kiss him like that when he was in third year.

"Uh...Alex?" he mumbled. "Why did you do that?"

Alex blushed, "I needed to cut down Justin's ego a peg."

"But why me?"

Alex whispered into his ear, "The boys here suck. I guess you're the only exception."

x-x-x-x-x

Happy Deathday, Sir Nicholas

The dungeon was like a morgue. Cold and filled with the dead. When you breathed, you could see your breath. The walls, window and entrance were draped in black. Black lace, black cotton, black silk. Even the candles were black. Alex had been dragged down by Harry and the others. This Halloween was going to a weird one she had told herself earlier that morning as she magically straightened her hair.

"Happy, er, Deathday, Sir Nick," Alex greeted as the nearly head-less ghost floated by.

"Why thank you, Miss Russo," the ghost waved. Alex felt a chill as an old witch ghost passed throughher.

"Oh, terribly sorry, young Miss," the witch curtsied.

"Uh... it's okay. Sir Nicholas? Is it okay if I have something to eat?"

"Why, of course, Alexia," Nick 'rubbed' his 'hands' together.

Alex ran to the table, saying sorry as she went through several ghosts. She grabbed a black plate and loaded it with almost everything but the devilled eggs and mutton.

She was about to take her first bite when, "Excuse me everybody. Its time for my..." That was all she heard. Sir Nick was trying but a group of headless people started to play hockey with one of the heads. The head landed on her food after two minutes. Angry, Alex glared at the head. It looked very scared itself.

"Quit playing hockey and bloody listen to the host's speech! Its his Deathday. He scares the wits out of me usually but you know something? I like him a whole lot more than you idiots!" Alex seethed. "He's a brilliant, er, person. He helps us all out a lot! He helped Harry get out of detention. He helped me prank Snape the other day. He knows what we should all do in a crisis because he's level headed, mind the pun. You'd be lucky to have him in the Headless Hunt!"

"Wow," Hermione gasped. The room had fallen silent and Alex hadn't noticed that she was holding a threatening knife in her hands.

"Er... Sir Nicholas? Would you like to join the Hunt?" The head asked. Alex turned and mouthed 'no' at him.

"No. I don't need your stupid hunt," Nick oked his tongue out. "You suck each other off anyway."

"Well done, sir," Alex clapped. Everyone joined in. He was the hero of the hour. And then he bored everybody to tears when he went through his speech. Alex was glad for the cake at the end. It was yummy!

x-x-x-x-x

Ignorence

Alex knocked on the door.

"Come," Gilderoy Lockhart beckoned.

"You wanted to see me, Professor," Alex tried to look innocent.

"Uh, yes," he inspected the girl. "For your detention, Miss Russo."

Harry turned to see Alex from the desk, which was piled with letters. Harry looked her up and down. He knew that she was half way to becoming George's girlfriend but he liked her. Very much. VERY, very much. He took in her appearance. She was wearing her uniform, obviously, but had adjusted it to look more like a 'Alex would wear this' fashion statement. She wore her skirt really short and, even with the wind and rain and the cold, no tights. She wore a pair of black high heels and her Gryffindor robe hung around her shouldes cooly. He blinked and felt a part of him go hard. Alex always had this effect on him. Ever since she and Voldemort argued last year.

"What? Psh. What did I do, Professor Lockhart?" Alex pulled a pouty face.

"Well, first you drew moustaches on all my pictures in this room. Then you stole several cornish pixies and set them on that poor Hufflepuff chap, whatshisname. Cedric Diggory," Lockhart told her sternly whilst smiling. (WTF! Thats almost as wierd as Dumbledore's freakish twinkling eyes!)

"Whatever. The ugly bloke deserved it," Alex smiled wryly. "He made me think he was a vampire! He put glitter glue on his chest and gold contact lenses from the muggle world."

"I don't care, Miss Russo," Lockhart snapped, still smiling. "Sit down and start answering my fan-mail for me. Like Harry, over there."

"Just one question, Professor," Alex held her index finger up. " Are you, by any chance, trying to hypnotise me?"

"Drat!" Lockhart stamped his foot. "I mean...yes... I am."

"So that's why you've won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile award five times in a row," Alex tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Here's the deal: never give me or Harry a detention again and pay me fifty galleons a week and my names Ignorence."

"Ah, well, they do say that Ignorence is bliss," Lockhart pulled out a large bag of money. "Here's five hundred galleons."

"You carry five hundred galleons around with you?"

"I... uh... used to have a gambling problem," Lockhart confessed quietly.

x-x-x-x-x

Hermione The Garden Gnome!

"This may shock you," Professor McGonagall warned them as she led Harry, Alex and Ron into the hospital wing. She ushered them ahead. There they saw Hermione.

"Who could have done this?" Alex asked to the whole world. "I bet it was that Mary Gariarno. She's been jelous of me for ages.

"What has that got to with anything?" Ron asked her, his ears red.

"Hermione wakes me up in the mornings. Doy," Alex rolled her eyes. It was true. Hermione was the pesonification of an alarm clock to Alex. She even winds Hermione up before she goes to sleep.

"This was found with her," Professor McGonagall held up a mirror. "Does it mean anything to any of you?"

"No," Ron said.

"No," Harry said.

"Yes. I gave her it last Christmas," Alex nodded. "It was five sickles from a street corner." Everyone stared at her. "What? I needed to give her something!"

Harry held Hermoine's stiff hand. He felt something in it. A piece of parchment. A clue.

"C'mon," Harry told the others and they left Hermione with her beard and her pointy hat. She looked like a lawn gnome and Father Christmas rather than the leathery ones of Ron's garden. The red pointy hat and the fixed grin would give Alex nightmares for a few hours in detention.

x-x-x-x-x

The Team Edward Voice

"Can you hear them, Alex," Harry looked pleading at her. She closed her eyes and listened. Nothing.

"Harry. I..." Alex started. "I need to getbak to the common room. George will be waiting to help me with my charms essay."

"Liar," Harry looked disappointed. "You can't hear them can you."

"Harry... hold on... give me a second to clear my head," she turned around and brought out her American wand from her robes. Harry didn't see. He'd turned away from her. She whispered. "_I'm not a brillient seer, its Parseltongue I want to hear._"

The crystal orb on top of the red wand glowed and her eyes glowed green for half a second. Then she heared it.

"Kill... kill... blood... Team Edward..." a hissing voice echoedin her head.

"Harry..." she turned and her perfectly plucked eyebrows arched. "I... I can hear it and its evil! It's Team Edward for fucks sake!"

"You...really can hear it?" Harry turned and looked at her amazed.

"Yes. And it keeps sayin 'kill'," Alex looked scared. It was seriously scaring her. "Can we go back to the cmmon room, now?"

x-x-x-x-x

Return Of The Teenage Dork Lord!

_"Do not obey Harry Potter!"_ Tom Riddle shouted in Parseltongue. Ever since she did that spell, she could speak and hear Parseltongue. She wished she never did it. Tom stood in front of Harry, bold as ghostly brass. He didn't know Alex was there. The Basilisk slipped off towards Harry. Alex let out a little gasp and wished for a miracle.

A screech and her wish was granted. Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix, flew into the chamber. It dropped a hat and scratched the basilisks eyes out. Riddle screamed in more parseltongue. Harry winked at Alex and ran into a near by pipe entrance.

"Anytime, now," Riddle paused. Alex breathed in and ran down the long chamber, pulling her unfamiliar wand out.

"Oi! Wotcha bastard! Alright Moldymort, peadophilic gay lord of Dorks!" she mocked as she skidded to a halt.

"YOU!" Riddle shrieked.

"That's right Moldy. Its me," she grinned.

"Bart Simpson!" Riddle pointed at the girl. "I hate you, Bart!"

"Hey. Bart is short for Bartholomew," Alex protested. "Anyway, you know that cool floaty fire writing you just did? Watch this." She turned and wrote in the air _Bartholomew Simpson_. The flaming writing came out red. She grinned and flicked her wand. The words changed into Alexia Russo. "I have an alias, too. Call me Alex."

"And, why, Bart, would I do that?"

"Because my name is really Alex Russo. Not Bart Simpson? Doy!" Alex rolled her eyes an folded her arms.

"Well, I have another name other than Voldemort and Tom Riddle, you know," Riddle grinned. "Call me Sideshow Bob! Mwahahahaha!"

"Dude. No," Alex shook her head. "Fail."

"What?"

"Fail. You F-A-I-L," Alex spelled out fail. "At life."

"What the f-"

"Not interested," Alex held up a bored hand. "You just do, okay."

Riddle looked down at Alex's hand.

"What a strange wand," he commented.

"Yeah... so?" Alex backed off a step.

"I know your secret, Russo," Riddle smiled sickly. "American wizard."

Alex blinked. In third year, she knew, the students learned about foreign magic.

"Yes, I am. Wanna see?" she grinned slyly. She stepped forward and whacked him on the head. "Ah. That works nine times out of ten. Only when whacking someone over the head doesn't work, use magic."

Riddle stooped to the ground. Little birds tweeted in circles around his head. Alex laughed at the cliche. Then she felt the breath on her neck. She turned slowly. The Basilisk was right behind her. Harry came from another pipe.

"Eep!" she whispered. Harry hurried forward to Ginny. Riddle still had his wand so all he had was a silver Gryffindor sword. Then he saw Alex's wand. WTF! he thought.

"_Finish her!_" Riddle shouted in Parseltongue.

"No!" Harry screamed. Riddle turned.

Alex grinned and held her hand up. "_Listen to me and no one else. Chew up that diary. NOW!_"

Harry gaped at her. Riddle stared at her. Both had their mouths open. Riddle dropped Harry's wand.

"You can speak Parseltongue?" Riddle asked.

"Yes. I can," Alex said triumphantly. "You ordered it to not obey Harry. I just told it to obey only me. Fooled ya sucker! Harry and I cooked this plan up on the way."

The Basilisk started chewing on th book and Riddle disappeared. The blind Basilisk turned to Alex. She took the sword Harry was holding and beheaded it quickly. Just then, straight away, Ginny shot upright.

"Harry! Alex! It was me! I didn't mean to! Lockhart hypnotized me and he was being hypnotized by you-know-who who was hypnotizing me!" Ginny yelled. "Thank you for saving me!"

"Well... glad that's over," Alex smiled.

x-x-x-x-x

Elf

"Well, let us hope that Harry Potter and Alex Russo will always be around to save the day," Lucius Malfoy sneered at the children in front of him. Dumbledore's office was warm and the Gryffindor sword was in Harry's hands. Alex held the hat and Lucius Malfoy stuck to his true colours. Dumbledore watched from his desk, a big bowl of popcorn in front of him. He watched the scene unfold.

"Don't worry. We will be," Harry answered icely.

"Yeah," Alex folded her arms. "See you around, Mouthy."

Lucius walked out the room, hitting Dobby the house elf as he went. Alex nudged Harry and pointed to the book. HArry got the message.

"Uh, sir?" Harry asked Dumbledore. He placed the sword on his desk. Alex put the hat on a near-by book stack. He pointed to the diary. "Can I please have that?"

Alex looked at her feet. Thankfully, she had worn her converses the night before. She whipped one off with skilled practise and pulled her black knee high sock off and folded it into the diary. She put the converse on again and pulled her robe to cover her leg as the pair ran into the corridor.

"Mr Malfoy! Mr Malfoy!" Harry called as th figure came into view.

"Oi! Bastard!" Alex shouted and Lucius turned around. Dobby turned with a sad yet hopeful look. Alex winked at him.

"We think you forgot something," Harry held out the diary. Lucius' eyes would have popped out if it were possible.

"I'm not sure what you mean," he said impassivly.

"Oh, but I think you do," Alex kept her robe in front of her leg. "I think you put it in Ginny's cauldron back at Diagon Alley when I told you to fuck off."

"I see," Lucius said as Alex shoved the diary into his hands. "Take this." He handed it to Dobby.

"Open it," Harry mouthed as Lucius turned around and started walking. Dobby pulled out the sock.

"Master has given Dobby a sock!" Dobby cheered. "Dobby is free!"

Lucius turned abruptly. He turned to see Dobby holding his sock in triumph. Alex showed him her other leg and smiled wickedly.

"You lost me my servant!" Lucius screamed. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the pair. "Avad-"

"You shall not harm Harry Potter or Alex Russo!" Dobby screeched as he made Lucius fly backwards. Crying, Lucius ran away leaving a proud looking Dobby behind. "Thank you, Harry Potter and Alex Russo. How can I ever repay you?"

"For me? Just promise me that you will never ever ever never try to save my life again," Harry's face the essence of stern.

"I'll keep that in mind," Alex grinned. "And Dobby?"

"Yes, Alex Russo?"

"Don't eat yellow snow," Alex laughed.

"Oh, I already know that, Miss," Dobby smiled.

_**A/N:**_** Yes! In 3 days! Merry Christmas people! Please remember to R/R! Flames accepted by the way. I want the honest opinion of the international peeps out there. (And I know my grammer sucks in some places and I spelled a few words wrong. I want the overall, okay?) Must get another chapter underway for the other stories I'm doing. Next chapter will be next year okay?**

_**Coming January 2011!**_

**"Sirius Black has escaped from Prison."**

**"He's a murderer."**

**"Sirius Black is the reason Harry Potter's parents are dead."**

**"He's going to finish what he started."**

**"I want you to swear to me you won't go looking for Black."**

**"Why would I go looking for someone who's trying to kill me?"**

**"There's something moving out there."**

**"It was a Dementor. One of the guards of Azkaban searching the train for SIrius Black."**

**"It is not in the nature of a Dementor to be forgiving."**

**"Nor is it in my nature."**

**Something wicked this way comes. And its not just Alex Russo.**

**"I hope he finds me 'cause when he does I'm gonna be ready. I'm gonna kill him!"**

**"You must look beyond!"**

**"Filthy little mud-blood!"**

**"Foul evil little cockroach!"**

**"Stupid little meglomaniac-"**

**"Okay, Alex, that's enough."**

**"I love you, Alex."**

**"That felt good."**

**Alex In Hogwarts**

**Year Three!**

**"Expecto Petronum!**

**"Aren't you a little young to be taking on a murderer?"**

**"Yes, yes I am."**

_**Its coming!**_

_**Be ready...**_

**"He's dead! That's Peter Pettigrew!"**


	3. Third Year

_**Alex In Hogwarts**_

_**A/N:**_**What in the name of Hades' gymshorts was I thinking when I did this? I know! It was I want to thank all those who reviewed! If I haven't answered you I'm so sorry! I was sooooo swamped with review emails and author/story alerts and a few crazy people actually added me to thier favourite author list! I feel so loved! I really do! If it weren't for all these pesky exams, I'd be updating much quicker. I'm also changing the rating to T because I have no ideas on how to add that certain M-ness into this whole fiasco. My dirty mind seems to have gone on holiday with out me to my crushes house (-_- I'm totaly bored without it!).**

**I'm also a bit disappointed with another story of mine. I put up 'Death Comes To Us All' (my latest Potter fic) ages ago and even updated the next two chapters in hopes to entice you guys to read it but, hey, guess what. NO ONE'S REVIEWED IT! It makes my cosmic horn (read the Georgia Nicholson series to find out what I'm on about) go away and sulk for a while. It's a wierd story. I've also noticed how my stories always seem to be romances which puts me into that state of mind when you start to question what drugs I was on when I write these stories! I know it wouldn't be anything where my nose could fall off, injected by needle or ingested. MAYBE IS CATNIP! But I'm not a cat...**

**I'm out of things to say!**

**Thanks to you all and I hope my stupid ramblings haven't put you off!**

**I LOVE YOU ALL! And on with the show -**

_Third Year_

Smarty Pants and Zzzz

Alex Russo, thirteen year old wizard extrordinaire sat and listened to her brother drone on and on about magical wizard wear. A rare thing.

"Having already covered magical armour, today we procede to sports wear," he said. Jerry Russo had gone off to a no-wizard-left-behind convention and left Teresa to teach them. She lasted five seconds among the American wizards, her English magic nothing like theirs. Justin held up an orange jacket with a blue collar and a yellow lightning bolt across it. "This jacket gives you the power to move extremely quick."

"Prove it," Max pointed.

"Alright. Watch how quickly I can run to the sandwich shop, make a sandwich and come back," Justin said, putting his hand behind his back. A slight blur surrounded him and he pulled his hand around again to reveal a sandwich in a red basket.

"Cool but, uh, you forgot the cheese," Max told him.

"Oh," Justin grinned. "Hold on a sec." He blurred again. Suddenly a whole block of cheese was on top of the sandwich, squishing it considerably. "That enough cheese for you? Yep, it is."

"Alright," Max grinned from his seat.

"Okay," Justin went and picked up a strange hat that looked like a court jester would have worn in colours of dark blue and gold and silver. "This is called a nightcap. It puts anyone who wears it to sleep."

"Oh, good, then are you gonna keep teaching because I want to be asleep for that," Alex laughed before high-fiving Max.

"Haha, very funny, Alex, not," Justin mocked her girlish voice. He put the cap down and went over to the cupboard and pulled out a pair of leggings in remarkable eighties style colours. "These are smarty pants. They give the wearer superior intellect and knowledge. I'd put them on but I'm already smarter than them. Now listen as I read from the list of side effects of leaving the pants on too long. Side effects include drowsiness, foot fungus, skellinton legs, dragon breath, say it don't spray it disease..."

Alex didn't listen she just picked up the nightcap and thrust it on Justin's head. He fell asleep instantly, as he had promised. She snatched the leggings from his hands and turned to Max.

Her voice had contracted a permanant English accent. The American never came through anymore. Two years at Hogwarts had changed her voice. "Okay, Max, lesson over. Let's go."

"Nah, I think I'll stay and draw on his face," Max said, rubbing his chon.

"Okay, then," Alex shrugged.

"Oh, hey, Alex?"

"Yeah, Max?"

"When did your voice get that posh?"

"I've been living in England for the past two school years, Max," Alex told him slowly. "You know, that place you'll be going this year with me and Justin?"

"I thought I was going to Tribeca Prep like your mortal friend, Harper," Max screwed his face up.

"Yeah, well, you got a letter," Alex told him.

"Wait. I got a letter? When?"

"I dunno. I apparently got one when I first went," Alex told him. "And last year. And this year."

x-x-x-x-x

The Knight Bus

The night was cold and bleak when the Russo's (Teresa and Jerry included) stepped out into the street. Teresa pulled out a ten inch willow wand out and stuck it out in front of her. An indigo triple-decker bus suddenly burst into what would seem as existance when in actual fact it had just moved really really fast. Like lightning fast. Like as fast as light.

"Wow, Mum," Alex said. Teresa turned in surprise at Alex's accent; she still hadn't gotten used to it. "How did you do that?"

"Easy. You just stick your wand out the roadside," Teresa told her, her eyes rolling. Alex had just watched her. A figure came and sttod at the bus entrance.

"Good evening, sirs and madams," the man who was barely older than eighteen with spots and light stubble. He was like a stick figure in 3D. "Welcome to the Night Bus. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor this evening."

"Hi, we're heading for The Leaky Cauldron, London," Teresa smiled. "And we know to eat the pea soup before it eats us."

"Alrigh', alrigh," Stan held his hands up defensively. "Keep your hair on. Get on an' I'll get your stuff inside."

The Russo's trooped in in single file, Jerry first, then Justin, then Max, then Alex and finally Teresa. Inside, beds on wheels and a massive chandelier. All except Alex took a bed on the top deck; she took one at the bottom.

"Next stop Little Whinging," Stan knocked on the drivers window. "Take it away, Earn."

"Take it away, Ernie," a small voodoo head told the old man with glasses that matched the Divination teacher. The bus zoomed of into the night. It took two minutes to get to Little Whinging. There was no problems on the streets. They stoped outside a park. Stan 'straightened' his uniform and went outside. Alex was sitting on her bed with wheels reading a Wizard magazine. An American one. It didn't matter if Harry Potter walked onto the bus right there an then. He would learn about American magic this year anyway. And as if on cue, Harry did walk on to the bus.

"Alex?" he asked.

"Hey, Harry," she didn't look up from her magazine, her cheeks burning at her secret about to be revealed to an entire class/year group. Of coarse, Harry got the wrong idea about her flaming cheeks and thought she liked him like _that_. "How was you holidays?"

"I was stuck at the Dursley's," Harry told her, giving her a critical look.

"Oh," Alex rolled her eyes and looked up to see a face from her future in Stan's hands on the front page of the Daily Prophet.

"Hey, who is that?" Alex asked.

"Him? You don't know who tha' is? Tha's Sirius Black, tha' is," Stan told them. "He's a murderer. Was a big supporter of You-Know-Who. Recon you heard of him?"

"Yeah. Him we've heard of," Harry said seriously, looking to Alex.

"Where abouts you heading, Mr Longbottom?" Stan asked.

"The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London," Harry told him.

"You hear that Earn? The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London," Stan told Earnie.

"Right, Ernie, step on it!" the voodoo head told him. Just as they were passing over London Bridge, the bus came across to double deckers, side by side. "Ernie! Two Double deckers at twelve o'clock!" The driver pulled a lever and the bus became really thin. "Mind your heads."

Ten seconds after...

"Little old lady dead ahead, Ernie!" the head shouted and the bus came to a sudden stop. It began to count down until they were clear to go again. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two and a quarter, two, one and two thirds, ONE!" They sped off again. And then they stopped after five metres. "Welcome to Leaky Cauldron, London."

Harry pealed his face from the glass of the drivers cabin.

x-x-x-x-x

The Cold Hand Of Dementor Creeps

"Professor R. J. Lupin," Hermione answered Ron's blundering question.

"D'you know everything? How is it she knows everything?" Ron asked the world at large.

"Okay, Brainiac, that's enough," Alex rolled her eyes. "And Dumbo? She studies. And his name's on the suitcase. Duh!"

"D'you think he's asleep?" Harry asked, tugging at his collar.

"He seems to be," Hermione waved a hand in front of the teacher. "Why?"

"I need to tell you something," Harry said as he closed the door. He told them that Sirius Black was after him.

"Sirius Black?" Hermione asked.

"Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban," Alex told her darkly. "Big supporter for Voldemort."

"So he's a murderer and he's after Harry? Why?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Harry told his best mate. "Alex?"

"Why would I know?" she gave him a critical look from beneath her fringe.

"I dunno. Maybe because of all of us, you have the mind of a criminal," Harry shot her a critical look of his own.

"Yeah, I know," Alex smiled. "Listen... d'you guys know where Fred and George are?"

"Yeah, somewhere further down the train with all their friends and Justin," Ron sighed.

The train suddenly holted and sent Harry to the floor. Alex snickered and pointed. The lights failed and Alex stopped laughing mid 'Ha'. The glass became frozen and an icy layer coated the inside.

"Why are we stopping? We can't be there yet," Hermione asked.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious, for that brief but pointless bit of air vibration that made a sound," Alex rolled her eyes. She walked up to the door and slid it open. Dozens of faces looked out of the other compartments, looking as confuzzed as gold fish. She closed it again.

"Mmmmb-mm'mm-mmmkmm-mmmn," Harry's muffled voice came from the carpet. He pulled his face up. "I mean... maybe we've broken down."

"Whatever, genius," Alex said stepping over him. She sat on her seat again. Ron was looking out the window.

"There's something moving out there," Ron told them, his pink ears illuminating the small space.

"Then all the reindeer loved his ears and they shouted out with glee, Ronald the red eared reindeer, he'll go down in history!" Harry and Alex laughed.

Then the tempreture dropped even more. Alex felt something coming but what was it? The door slid open slowly and a set of grey gnarled fingers curled around it. A dark, floating, robed figure entered the compartment. Alex felt all but a spark of happiness leave her at once. That one spark that was said to be trapped in Pandora's Box. Hope.

Harry looked up from the floor. The creature looked back at him. Then it floated towards him and Harry's face was a blur. It looked like it was being pulled off. Alex yelped and kicked the thing. It stopped hurting Harry and turned on its attacker. Her world went dark. The last thing she saw was the man who was sleeping get up and brandish his wand at the thing. The last thing she heard was a spell.

x-x-x-x-x

"Wake up, Alex," Hermione awoke the slumbering girl. "C'mon, Alex, wake up! Now! Oh look! It's George."

Alex shot up and smoothed her hair down. "I'm awake, I swear." Seeing there was no George in sight, she shot Hermione a murderous look.

"Here. Have some chocolate," the man from before said, handng her the bar of sweet sweet goodness.

"Thanks," Alex said. Harry had woken earlier than her and was already eating his chocolate. "Harry fainted, too?"

"Yeah," Harry said, his face resembling a pocket elf with chocolate around his face. "What was that thing?"

"It was a Dementor. One of the guards of Azkaban searching the train for Sirius Black," the man told them.

"We were so worried for you, Harry," Hermione told him.

"What about me?" Alex demanded, feeling more than a little hurt.

"C'mon, Alex. We know you," Hermione gave her a serious look.

"Yeah, you'd wake up at the sound of George's voice or his name," Ron nodded innocently.

"Did anyone scream?" Harry interrupted.

"No one was screaming, Harry," Hermione told him, forever the bearer of the obvious.

"I yelped," Alex offered.

"Thanks but that's not what I heared," Harry said and looked down at the floor. "I thought I heard someone scream."

"Harry. I want you to swear to me you won't go looking for Black," Alex sounded serious.

"Why would I go looking for someone who's trying to kill me?" Harry asked.

x-x-x-x-x

Cheated By Dumbles!

The First years watched as the Sorting Hat finished its song. Max didn't look at all impressed; he had fungus at home that he called Carl and he often had conversations. Weird conversations, admittedly, but conversations with mold just wasn't normal.

"Now, I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head and you'll be sorted into your houses," Professor McGonnagle told the newbies. "Veronica Aaronworth!"

A small, fierce looking girl with vibrant purple hair ran up to the stool. The hat was placed on her head and... "GRYFFINDOR!"

This carried on and Alex Russo had fallen asleep until, "MAX RUSSO!"

Alex's head had fallen onto the table and even Max turned when he heard the loud bang to see his sister. She shot up again and saw it was Max's turn.

"Whoo," she said weakly. "Go Max."

"Thank you, Miss Russo."

The hall settled into whispers of "Not another Russo!" or "God save us now!" or "Three Russos? Just what we needed... NOT!"

Max sat on the stool and the hat went over his eyes. They sat... and sat... and sat... and sat... and ten minutes after the hat went over his eyes the hat shouted with much desperation, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Yes!" Alex shouted. "You owe me, Justin!"

"No I don't!" Justin protested.

"Mr and Miss Russo," Dumbles said. They looked up to the great wizard. "I believe I owe the pair of you a sickle each." He waved his hands and Alex felt her pocket get considerably heavier. She pulled the weight out. It was a big lollypop.

"This isn't a sickle!" Alex protested.

"Yes it is," the Professor said. "Its a POP-sickle. The sickle's in the middle. I suggest the both of you start sucking."

Alex shrugged and ignored the crowds silly immature laughing.

"Okay," she and Justin chorused. They both began to eat the lollypop. There, of coarse, was not a sickle in the middle but an I.O.U. note saying so. Alex felt cheated. By the headmaster dammit!

x-x-x-x-x

The Sight? The Sight You Don't Have, Professor

The first Divination lesson was a bit of rubbish. All Muggles who are taking or have taken their pitiful GCSE (or whatever exams you need in your country, reader. We have GCSE's here) coarses will know what she was trying to do. She was trying to keep her class by making the first month or so good and then sink into the rubbish stuff that wasn't in the coarse discription. Sibyl Trelawney had gotten a big fat FAIL! The only reason Alex stayed in the class because she could fall asleep easily.

"In this room, you shall explore the noble art of Divination. In this room, you shall discover if you posess the Sight," Trelawney said before bumping into the table she had placed in front of herself just moments before the class finished their tea. (Alex tried not to gag. She hated tea.) "Hello, I am Professor Trelawney."

"I think your supposed to introduce yourself before you start on what the topic is, Professor," Alex mumbled undr her breath. Ron tried not to laugh.

"Together, we shall cast ourselves into the future," the teacher looked so excited. "This term, we'll be focusing on Taseomancy, the art of reading tea leaves. Now, please take the cup of the person sitting next to you."

Alex took the cup of Hermione, who'd just appeared there. "When did you get here?" Alex asked, confused.

"I've been here since the start, Alex," Hermione whispered sharply with one of her _looks_.

"The truth lies buried like a sentance deep within a book, just waiting to be read," Trelawney went on. She garbbed hold of Seamus Finnegan's head. "But first, you must broaden your minds, first you must look beyond!" She pointed to the corned of the room. Everyone looked. Nothing was there. The teacher had a bigger pocket when they looked back and many in the front row found later they no longer wore a watch or a bracelet or necklace they were wearing when they entered the room.

"Please," Hermione made the boys jump. "What a load of rubbish."

"When did you get here!" Ron asked, surprise obvious on his face.

"What d'you mean? I've been here the whole time," Hermione told him and Harry.

"Psh, yeah," Alex said. She inspected her nails as Trelawney told Neville in short his grandmother is ill, Parvati her sister is wearing her shirt and some other kid that her mother is dead (which she already knew because it happened just before she went to Hogwarts). She moved onto Harry. Ron gave her the cup and Trelawney dropped it.

"My boy, you have the Grim," Alex felt the room but her, Hermione and Harry shift away.

"What's the Grim?" Alex asked, putting her hand on the table.

"Its one of the darkest omens of our world," Dean Thomas told them. "An omen of Death."

"My uncle saw the Grim and went crazy before killing himself because of the Grim," Ron whispered to Harry but the whole table heard.

"What about mine?" Alex asked. Trelawney took the cup from Hermione. She dropped that one, too.

"My dear... you have the Grim, also!" she shrieked before running to hide behind her armchair.

"Oh... great..." Alex said as she pulled the cap of a nail strengthening formula and painting her nails with the clear liquid.

x-x-x-x-x

A Secret Revealed

"Welcome Third Years!" Lupin held his arms out happily.

"Hello, Professor Lupin," Alex said, sitting in the first row. This was the fifth lesson this term and she loved the DADA lessons enough to actually go to them. The Boggart lesson was great! She turned the figure known as Death into a puppet and made it dance to 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga. Everyone laughed at it. They couldn't help it. By the time Harry managed to stagger up to it, everyone was rolling about on the floor, clutching their sides in happy agony.

"Today, we are going to learn about something of great importance to the international Wizarding community," Lupin told them. "The other kind of Wizard in the world. The American wizards."

Alex felt a knot in her stomach. Like she was wearing a really tight belt. _Shit! Here it comes! Everyones gonna know about me! I hoped for a little more time than this!_

"American wizards?" Hermione asked. At last, something she didn't know! It's like a miracle!

"Yes, Miss Granger," Lupin smiled. Alex put her hand up and the class gasped.

"Sir, the American wizard is a wizard from America, right?" Alex said. Of coarse she knew that. "One that can make up spells and they have WizTech instead of Hogwarts."

"Uh... yes, Miss Russo, yes, your... right!" Lupin could hardly contain his astonishment. "The American wizard can also-"

"Take on jobs like monster hunters," Alex finished. The class was staring at her, now. It was a little annoying. A knock on the door and the class spun around to see Max and Justin at the door. The belt tightened.

"Hello, Professor," Max waved, a stupid grin played across his face. His American hadn't completely gone yet.

"Professor, we're here at the request of Professor McGonnagle," Justin told him. "To tell people about American wizards."

"Hey!" Alex stood up. "Why did she ask Max? I'm better at telling people things than Max, even if the majority of them are lies and mind games. At least I don't forget (most the time)."

"Sit sown, Miss Russo," Professor Lupin told her sternly.

"These are my brothers, Professor," she told him. She turned to her brothers. "And I can so show them better than you pair!"

"Oh really?" Justin pulled out his American wand. The crowd gasped then turned back to Alex who had her own wand out.

"Yeah, really," she grinned and pointed the wand at him. "Satisfy my empty belly, make me a peanut butter on jelly!"

Justin turned into exactly thaty kind of sandwich. Max picked it up and moved it to his mouth.

"Haha! Pay back time!" Max grinned evilly.

"Max! Put Justin down!" Alex commanded. She pulled out her English wand and did a bit of awkward swapping. She pointed the English wand at the sandwich. "_Accio Justin_!"

"Aw man," Max whined.

Alex turned to her class. "Well. If it isn't obvious... I'm an American wizard. Ta da!"

x-x-x-x-x

Betrayals

Harry stared out the window of the clocktower, his invisability cloak on his arm.

Alex felt the tears dribble from her eyes and down her cheeks. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"There was no way in hell I knew I'd fall over," Alex protested.

"Okay, okay," Harry nodded. "Are you going to Hogsmead?"

Alex looked at the kids leaving down below on the fresh snow. "If you're going, I'll come."

Harry swished the cloak over himself and pulled Alex close to him. They started and only got past the fountain in the coartyard before the Weasley twins grabbed hold of them.

"Sh," George whispered as he caught Alex's arm.

"Hey!" Harry grumbled in protest.

"Guys, we're trying to get to Hogsmead," Alex said through gritted teeth.

"We know," Fred nodded and pulled them into the staircase of the clocktower.

"Guys, what are you doing?" Alex asked.

"Harry doesn't have permission, right?" Fred asked. They nodded.

"But you do, Alex?" George looked into her eyes.

"Uh, yeah," Alex rolled her eyes. She'd forged her dad's signiture to get the permission. Justin had gotten Teresa's the year before.

"Then why don't you and I go someplace to wait for Harry whilst Fred gives him the, er, instructions," George grabbed hold of her hand and led her away. "Let's go to the Three Broomsticks."

Alex walked with him to Hogsmead. She looked at his calm face. He seemed almost... nervous.

"George? Let's play a game," she pursed her lips.

He looked at her face and smiled. "Cruise, marry shag?"

Alex smiled ruefully. "Read my mind. You go first."

"Um... Fred, me and Harry," he looked into the sky.

"I'd go on a cruise with Fred, shag Harry but I'd marry you," she smiled at the sky as they walked past a patch of all-seasons blue roses.

"Why marry me?" he asked.

"Because then I could shag you any time I wanted," Alex shrugged. She stopped and turned to face him. She looked into his eyes and wrapped her arms around him. She reached up and kissed him. It wasn't on her agenda but... she couldn't help herself.

George drove her up to the nearest tree and kissed her back. His cold hands went under her jacket and shirt. He never left her lips. The kiss went deeper and became tongues. She felt him flinch and parted. He stepped away, hands in his pocket.

"Uh... lets get to Hogsmead," he looked away from her. Alex, struck dumb, followed him with an everlonging feeling of numbness. Why'd he stop?

They entered Hogsmead. The Three Broomsticks wasn't admitting underaged students that day so he led her to a place she'd hate from that day on. The Hogs Head seemed like the home of her favourite metal band Ugh! in America.

He bought her a butterbeer and sat next to her by the window.

"We need to talk, Alex," his whisper came rough from his throat.

"About what?" she asked, wary.

"About... us. I'm older than you and, well..." he looked her in the eye. "I can't deal with it anymore. I know you like me and believe me, there is nothing I would like more than to shag you, but I... I just want to be friends from now on."

The words rung in the air. Even the goat that was eating the barman's beard stopped to look at him outraged.

Alex stood, gulping back tears. "I see."

She walked out the door and ran. She ran to the Shrieking Shack. Unaware of the golden trio who saw her running the opposite direction of themselves in tears.

She sat on a rock and let her tears roll freely. She let her nose run, her wails to grow ever louder and her face to scrunch up. She felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a muffled voice ask her waht was wrong. By the time she'd calmed down enough Ron had a slapped face.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Your... brother... just dumped me. We weren't even going out."

More tears and Harry hugged her close.

"Give him a while," Hermione whispered. "He'll realise his mistake."

Harry swirled the cloak around himself and Alex. They walked on and Alex saw George from the window of Zonco's Joke Shop. He looked sad as his brother examined merchandise.

They walked until they saw the Minister for Magic steeping down from a golden carriage.

"Just park it over there, Rudolfo," he called to the driver. "It turns back into an onion at ten."

"I'll take good care of it, Herr Minister," the german coach driver shouted back, winking.

"Ah, Minister," Hagrid came out of nowhere, McGonnagle with him. "Good to see you."

"You too, Hagrid, and of coarse you Minerva," Fudge tapped his hat.

"Hello, Minister," Madam Rosmerta came from the inside of her pub.

"Ah, Roz," the minister kissed her hand. "How is business?"

"It'd be a damn side better if you didn't send Dementor's into my pub every night," she scolded him.

"We're being- being extra vigilant," the MoM looked sheepishly.

They went inside mentioning Harry's name. Harry and Alex looked at each other and hurried through the door before it could close. They followed the adults until they reached a room.

"Now, tell me what this is all about," Rosmerta demanded as she sat down.

"Years ago, when Harry Potter's parents realized they were marked down for death," Professor McGonagall explained. "Remember? They went into hiding. Few knew where they were. One who did was Sirius Black. And he told You-KNow-Who"

"Not only did he lead him to the Potters that night, he also killed Peter Pettigrew!" The Minister said sharply.

Alex looked at Harry. his eyes were so focused on the group in front of them he didn't notice her take his hand.

"Peter Pettigrew?" Rosmerta asked.

"Yes, little lump of a boy," McGonagall nodded. "Always trailing after Sirius Black."

"I remember him. Never let James and Sirius out of his sight," Rosmerta nodded. "What happened?"

Harry stepped back and Alex shuffled with him as the Minister of Magic came towards them to get a drink. Alex clamped her spare hand over Harry's mouth and waited until the Minister decided it was nothing he'd seen.

"Peter tried to warn the Potters and might have, had he not run into his old friend, Sirius Black," McGonagall explained further.

"Black was vicious. He didn't kill Pettigrew," the Minister took a swig of his brandy. "He destroyed him! A finger." He bradished his pinkie. "That's all that was left, A finger. Nothing else."

"Yes, Sirius Black may not have put his hands to the Potters but he's the reason they're dead."

"He's going to finish what he started," the Minister filled in.

"I don't believe it," Rosmerta exclaimed.

"That's not the worst of it," McGonagall said with a bitter voice.

"What could be worse?" Rosmerta dared.

"This: Sirius Black is and remains to this day Harry Potter's godfather," McGonagall dropped the bombshell. "Sirius Black is the reason the Potters are dead."

Alex felt Harry grab her wrist and pull her out the room and out of the pub. They passed Ron and Hermione on the way out.

"Ron!" Hermione nudged him, pointing to the footprints arriving on the snow. "Look."

Harry led them back to the Shrieking Shack.

Harry sat on a rock sobing loudly. Alex had her arms around him. Her turn to comfort.

Hermione came and pulled the invisability cloak from them. "What happened

"He was their friend," Harry sobbed angrily. "And he betrayed them. HE WAS THIER FRIEND! I hope he finds me 'cause when he does I'm gonna be ready. I'm gonna kill him!"

x-x-x-x-x

Something Wicked This Way Comes

"Are you sure about this?" Lupin asked Harry as Alex sat, levitating on a chair next to the boy. "You know this is very advanced magic well beyond the Ordinary Wizarding Level."

"I'm sure," Harry nodded as gold globes floated past Lupin.

Lupin pointed at a trunk. "Everything's prepared. The spell I'm going to teach you is called the Patronus Charm. Did you ever hear of it?"

"No," Harry admitted.

"Of coarse not. Miss Russo? Have you heard of it?"

"Never heard of it in my life," Alex nodded. The chair wobbled as it rose. It fell leaving Alex in the air. She started to fall. "_Sayvus-yer-buttickus_!"

She landed on the nearest couch.

"Very nice," Lupin commented. "A Patronus is a positive force. For the wizard who conjures one it works like a shield, with the dementor feeding on it rather than him."

"Or her," Alex interuppted.

"Yes, or her," Lupin nodded his apology before carrying on. "But in order for it to work, you need to think of a memory. Not just any memory, a very happy memory, a powerful memory. Can you do this? Yes. Very well. Close your eyes. Concentrate. Explore your past. Do you have your memory? Allow it to fill you up. Lose yourself within it. Then speak the incantation, _Expecto Patronum_."

"_Expecto Patronum_," Harry said clearly.

Lupin walked behind the chest. "Shall we? Wand at the ready."

He waved his hand and the chest unlocked itself. He lifted the lid and a dark, gruesome and threatening dementor whooshed out.

"_Expecto Patronum! Expecto... Expecto... Expect_," and Harry fainted.

"_Riddikulus_," Lupin pointed a the dementor and it turned into a silk handkerchief.

Alex ran over to Harry and held his head in her hands.

"That was a boggart?" Alex asked.

"Yes."

"Let me try," she demanded. She brought her English wand out and pointed it at the chest. Lupin dragged harry to the couch she'd landed on and ran to open the chest. The boggart screamed out.

Alex looked it directly in the, er, hood and lifted her wand. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A silvery cat leaped from her wand. Alex gasped as she saw it disolve into mist. The boggart was the figure of Death once more.

"_Riddikulus_," she exclaimed and Death became a hippie.

x-x-x-x-x

Misinterpretations

Alex walked alongside the Scottish moors of Hogwarts. She wasn't in the mood for dinner today. Peolpe'd been starng at her because of her American magic. They acted like they wanted to rip it from her.

Hagrid's hippogriff had just been sentanced to death. Alex stayed from Buckbeak like it was the plague. She didn't want to die. She wanted to comfort Hagrid but she never felt more compelled to stay from his hut.

The suns dimming light became red and pink.

A shadow crossed her path. She shrugged it from her mind. A rough growling noise filled her ears. She turned. There was nothing there. She turned again and a black dog sttof in her path.

"Get!" she stamped her foot. It did nothing. She brought her American wand out and waved it. "_Humanoza Espinoza_."

She changed into a tigress. She growled and the dog sat down. She changed back. The dog had gone. She sighed and went on. Until, that is, until a hand tok her shoulder.

"Don't scream," a voice whispered rough in her ears.

x-x-x-x-x

"He must hate me," Sirius Black nodded as he gave Alex a cup of coffee. The Shrieking Shack was his hiding place. IT was old and dusty. The abandonned house was not haunted. It used to be used as a place for a certain werewolf and his three friends to go and hang out on a full moon.

"He doesn't know the truth, Mr Black," Alex took the coffee and sipped it. "He... he thought that Peter Pettigrew is alive the other night. Professo Lupin took away the magical map he was using to find him."

"Magical map? It wasn't by any chance called the Marauders Map?" Sirius asked, head tilted in that questioning way dogs do so much.

"I think so," Alex nodded, downing the rest of her coffee.

"Remarkable. I thought James still had it until the night he..." Sirius looked out the window.

Alex changed tack. "We should get Pettigrew. He killed the Potters! Even I'm getting fired up about this."

"Then we'll do it. Tonight, we'll kill Pettigrew," Sirius nodded enthusiastically.

x-x-x-x-x

The Bit With Danger In It

Alex surprised the trio as she walked up behind them. They knew her fear of death.

"I want to be there to support Hagrid," Alex shuddered at the thought.

They reached the stone circle and guess which Slytherin was there with a bag of popcorn and a bottle of butterbeer,

"...I can keep the hippogriff's head. I'll donate it to the Gryffindors' room," Draco-the-dork Malfoy was saying to his lumphead friends. "This is going to be rich."

Goyle saw Hermione half-walk half-jog towards him. Alex backed into the bridge just in case.

"Look who's here," Goyle pointed.

"Come to see the show?" Draco laughed at her.

"You! You foul, loathsome evil little cockroach!" Hermione growled as she drew her wand. She pointed it to Malfoy's face and he started snivelling.

"Hermione, no!" Ron yelled. "He's not worth it."

Hermione lowered her wand and punched Malfoy in the face.

"Malfoy, run!" Goyle shouted.

"Let's go. Quick!" Crabbe exclaimed.

"Not a word to anyone, understood?" Malfoy growled. He shouted over his shoulder. "Filthy, little Mudblood!"

He bumped into Alex as he lead the gang from Hermione.

"At least she's not like you," Alex sneered at him. "Stupid little meglomaniac-"

"Okay, Alex that's enough," Harry shouted.

Alex whipped her wand out. "Oh but I'm not finished yet. _From your chin to your toes and elephant trunk grows_!"

Malfoy's nose became an elephants trunk. He ran away trying to cover his new trunk and failing miserably.

"That felt good," Hermione smiled slightly.

"Damn right it did," Alex nodded in agreement.

x-x-x-x-x

They watched as the executioner lifted his axe. Alex looked away from the sight. She saw Sirius in the tree and nodded at Ron.

Scabbers bit his finger and made a run for it, Ron shouting after him. Ron rolled as he caught him. But he landed a bit too close to the Whomping Willow.

"Ron!" Harry shouted as he and Hermione realized. "Run!"

Ron looked and saw Sirius standing next to Alex, growling.

"Harry, Hermione, RUN!" Ron pointed.

"No," Harry gasped as he saw Alex's stance next to the dog.

Sirius growled and leapt over Hermione and Harry and bit Ron's leg.

_That's not the fucking plan, Sirius!_ Alex thought in panic. She ran after him as he dragged Ron under the Whomping Willow. She skidded and jumped through the entrance. Following Ron's screams, she found Shrieking Shack and then the room they'd previously had coffee in.

"Alex?" Ron asked. "Watch out!"

"Shut up Ron!" she hissed. "Sirius. That was not the plan! You were meant to grab him and kill him!"

"You're working with him? With Sirius Black?" Ron screamed, bewildered.

"Sort of... it's complicated," Alex admitted.

Ron started to scream again just as Sirius padded behind the door and Hermione and Harry barged in.

"Ron? Are you alright?" they asked. "Where's Alex? Where's the dog?"

"Harry! It's a trap! He's the dog! He's an animagus! She's working with 'im!" Ron pointed to the door as Sirius came from behind it, human and standing where the pawprints ended. Alex backed away.

"Harry, you don't understand," she tried.

"Don't understand is right," Harry glared. "I trusted you! I... I love you, Alex. And you go and betray me. You're worse than he is."

"SHUT UP!" Alex screamed drawing her American wand from her boot. "I'm sick of your misinterpretations, Harry. I'm trying to take down the real murderer."

"Aren't you a bit young to be taking on a murderer?" the voice of Lupin came from the open door.

"Yes, yes I am," Alex shrugged.

"Then take him," Lupin nodded.

Alex stepped forward as Harry drew Hermione's wand from her pocket and disarmed her. She slammed into the nearest wall.

"Fucking hell, Harry," she screamed both outraged and inraged. She shot at him and punched his manly areas. "I'm not going to kill you! I'm going to aid Sirius in killing Pettigrew."

"Pettigrew's dead," Harry laughed insanely.

"No, he's not," Lupin pulled the seething Alex from Harry before she could do anymore damage. "Detention, Miss Russo."

"What?" she exclaimed, astounded at his teacher-ness at this time and in this place.

"Just explain," Harry groaned, still pointing the wand at them.

"Harry..." Lupin looked to Sirius.

"Oh for the love of- Ron, let go of the stupid rat," she said, waltzing up to the injured boy and taking the rat from his now white and shaking hands.

"Remus," Sirius looked desperate.

"Sirius, finally the flesh reflects the madness within," Lupin hugged his old cohort.

"You'd know all about the madness within, now, wouldn't you Remus," he laughed. It sounded rough and hoarse against the beaten and worn surroundings. It kinda fit in. Alex saw his skinny neck move with the motion of sound.

"Oh! Just kill the fucking rat already!" Alex shouted.

"There will be no killing tonight," Snape walked through the door.

"Oh, sure, come on in Snapeydoodles and bring your greasy hair, big nose and passionate glare with you," Alex rolled her eyes and gave the struggling rat to Sirius. The teacher glared as she walked up to him. She shouted, "GO A-FUCKING-WAY! NO ONE BLOODY LIKES YOU YOU FUCKING SON OF A SQUIB BITCH! WE ALL HATE YOU!"

She kept her face calm and got to the point where she whacked him over the head with the orb atop of her red American wand. Snape stumbled and landed on the bed.

"C U next tuesday, bitch!" Alex gave a sparkly wave, smiling sweetly and waving her wand to make a halo appear over her head. She turned to Pettigrew as he tried to run from the two remaining and loyal Marauders who were trying to zap him into becoming human again to prove to Harry they were right. She thrust her wand forward (ooer!) and aimed. She shot a bolt of bue energy at Pettigrew as he jumped over the piano.

He turned into a snivling man with abnormal teeth and a lok in his eyes like that of a crazed animal. A crazed rat in particular. He wore an old and torn navy pinstriped suit. He had thining ginger hair and was bald in places. He turned to see Alex breathing heavily, still aiming at him.

"He's dead! He's Peter Pettigrew!" she breathed out.

x-x-x-x-x

How Alex found herself in this predicament was beyond her. She was dragging a singing and unconcious (emphasis on _unconcious_) Snape to the surface of the tunnel.

"Oh, I've got a combine 'arvester and I'll give you key!" he sang off key. Alex hit him on the head again and he changed song. "I come home in the morning light. My mother says when you gonna live your life right? Oh momma dear, we're not the fortunate ones and girls, they wanna have fun! Oh, girls just wanna have- that's what they really waaaant! Some fuuuuuuuun! When the working day is done, oh, girls they wanna have fun! Yes, girls just wanna have fun!"

Everyone started getting onto the groove then. Alex hit him again. He sang more songs. The Hoosiers, Scouting for Girls, My Chemical Romance, AC/DC, Aerosmith and the glee version of Don't Stop Believing (you could tell because for the girl parts his voice rose in pitch). She hit him and he groggily started to sing another. Everyone was dancing to the off-key sounds of Severus Snape by now.

"Da-doo! I was walking down the wholesale flower district the one day! Shoop da-doo! And I passed by this place where this old Chinese man! Chang da-doo! He sometimes sells me wierd and exotic cuttings! Snip da-doo! 'Cause you knows, you see, well, strange plants are my hobby! Da-da-da-da-da-doo! He didn't have anything unusual that day! Nope! Da-doo! So I was about to, you know, walk on by! Good for you! When suddenly and without warning, there was this total eclipse of the sun! It got very dark and there was this strange humming sound like something from another world! Da-doo! And when the light came back this wierd plant was just sitting there! Whoopsie-doo! You know, stuck in, among the zinneas! Audrey II! I could have sworn it wasn't there before but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyway fro a dollar ninty-five! Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-loo-loo-loo-loooooo!"

At which point Hermione screamed and Lupin randomly turned into a werewolf!

"What a strange world we live in," Alex remarked as she watched Sirius try to subdue the wolfie man. She dropped Snape and slid her wand into her boot. She did the first thing that came into her mind and ran. Towards the man eating werewolf. Not away from it. _Towards_ it. She jumped on his back as he howled at the moon and Lupin/werewolf guy tried to shake her off. She went flying into the Whomping Willow. She screamed.

"I shouldn't have watched Twilight," she muttered as she ran from the tree before it could try to destroy her. A newly awake Snape grabbed her wrist and tried to tell her off. She screamed pointing as Sirius was thrown into the near-by shrubbery and the werewolf heard the sound a Justin-like howl. It ran to the forest and Harry went after Sirius. Alex broke away from Snape's grip and ran after the stupid boy.

She followed him to a lake where he was bent over Sirius. The tempreture dropped considerably.

"Harry!" she screamed as she slid down to him. "Harry! Dementors! They're coming, Harry!"

"Sirius," was all Harry could say. He had tears streaming down his face and Alex had to grip his wrist to make him look up at the dementors. They were swirling about the forest top and floating downwards.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" Harry and Alex yelled. She was using her English wand and felt her face whiten. A scratch across her stomach she hadn't noticed was bleeding. A lot. She cursed as all her patronus could come out as was a shield of white mist. No cat this time.

She fainted and left Harry to fend for himself.

x-x-x-x-x

Let's Do The Time Warp Again (Part 2)

Alex opened her eyes in the hospital bed. She sat up suddenly.

"Two!" she shouted. "The answer is two!"

"What on earth is she talking about, Harry?" Ron's voice came out of nowhere. Dumbles was staring at her. WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?

"I was dreaming I was in Tribeca Prep in New York," she rolled her eyes. "If I didn't go to Hogwarts, I'd go there."

Dumbles nodded. "And how are you, Miss Russo? Madam Pomfrey said the gash across your stomach was nasty but she healed it up nicely.

"I didn't know he was going to try and kill me," Alex looked put out as she swished her legs off the bed and got up. She almost stumbled as she went but she regained her balance easily. Ron had his leg in a splint and elavated. Sirius had broken his leg accidentally. Harry had stitches on his face and Hermione had a bandaged hand. SHE DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN HELP CARRY BLOODY FAT SNAPE! Maybe she cramped her hand or something.

"Three turns ought to do it," Dumbles said before departing.

Hermione nodded and watched as he closed the door. She pulled a necklace from under her shirt. And Alex recoiled at it. It would have looked terrible with her outfit! It was like something you should wear with an outfit that looked all modern Alice-In-Wonderland on drugs. A little hourglass inside a gold clocklike thingy.

"What is that?" she asked, curious about the terrible accessory.

Then, as she got under th golden chain, Hermione spun it three times as instructed by Dumbledore. The Hospital Wing seemed to blur... backwards. So I guess it would be rulb not a blur. Whatever! The point is they went back in time. You could tell because of all the clocks whirling around them going anit-clockwise instead of that of the clockwise discaplin.

They stopped and Hermione took the gold chain from around the three. Hermione dragged them through the castle and into the clocktower where they went through the coartyard and into the bridge leading to Hagrid's and the Forbidden Forest before Hermione stopped them and they saw... THEMSELVES! HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!

"Holy-" Alex started as Hermione made them climb through the windo of the bridge. They watched the happenings as they unfolded. Alex wished she was resourcful and brought popcorn. She scrounged in her pocket and found a packet of Starbursts and Rowntree's Randoms. She ate the Starbursts as she watched the Gryffindors take on the Slytherins.

They re-watched Hermione punch Malfoy and Alex give him a trunk for a nose. They watched as they went on to Hagrid's.

"'Mione? Why are we watching ourselves and not going completely fucking kazoo?" Alex asked.

"Because they are not aware of us," Hermione said, pulling her companions upright and dragging them down the forest edge where they hid behind the pumkin patch. She pulled her necklace out. "This is a timeturner. Alex, what is it?"

Alex was miffed about how Hermine made her sound like a five year old. "A timeturner."

"Right. It takes people back in time. We can't go up to ourselves because you'll think you've gone mad," Hermione told them like a pre-school teacher talking about numbers or colours. "And Alex, the argument that you've already lost your mind is not an argument. We'll lose our minds."

"So?" Alex asked, arms akimbo (a real word by the way. Look it up).

"So? We'd be mad and never save Buckbeak or Sirius!" Harry told her.

"That's why we're here? I thought we were going to kill Pettigrew," Alex put a well manicured finger on her chin, as if she was thinking about relevant things when we all know she was not.

"Why would we do that?" Hermione asked.

"Sirius is our priority!" Harry almost yelled.

"Well, we won't be doing anything if the Minister catches us in Hagrid's hut," Alex pointed. Hermione panicked and Harry gulped.

"Why aren't we moving? Why? WHY WHY WHYWHYWHYWHYWYWHYHWHYWHYWHY?" Hermione het her head against the pumpkins. "Ow!"

"What now?" Alex huffed.

"I hurt my head on this stone next to the stalk of the pumpkin," Hermine brandished the rock and threw it with out really aiming. "Stupid rock!"

The stone hit an orange vase on Hagrid's windowsill.

"Hermione! You're a certified genius!" Harry squealed like a four year old geting a toy. He picked up another stone and threw into Hagrid's hut. He hit his own head. "Ow..."

"Haha! Self-harmer!" Alex taunted as she dragged him into the forest when she saw past-themselves running towards the pumpkins that future-them were just hiding behind.

_God! This is confusing!_ Alex thought as they hid behind trees.

Hermoine peeped from behind hers and peered at the past-her.

"Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?" she whispered.

"Pretty much," Alex nodded. "It's a fucking nightmare when you wake up and its just there like a squirell blooy attacked it and left it for a bird."

Hermione shot her a look and accidentally snapped a twig. The girls hid again. Well, Hermione did. Alex stood perfectly still. Past Hermione saw her but didn't take it in and dismissed it.

"I thought I just saw..." past-Hermione looked at her future/current hiding place.

"What?" Past-Alex snapped in time with Past-Harry.

"Nothing. Never mind," P-Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"Let's go," Ron tugged on the sleeve of Hermione.

When they were out of sight, Alex let out a snort of laughter and moved.

"Not so bright there Hermione," Alex laughed.

"Sh!" Hermione looked miffed.

"Ok, ok, don't have a nervy b!" Alex rose her hands defencively.

"Let's just get Buckbeak," Harry rolled his eyes.

The three ran out from the forest and Harry bowed at the Hippogriff. Buckbeak bowed back and rested his head morbidly on his front legs. Harry went up to the chain and unhooked it but Buckbeak didn't stand.

Alex took her American wand out at the sound of the door starting to creek open. "Wait and stop, just wait minutes ten! Until the beast is gone, distracted them until then!"

The orb on top of her wand glowed and the spark flew from her and hit the hut. The door closed and the sounds of grunting filled the air. Alex had no idea and didn't want to know what thy were doing. Then the sound of the kettle squealing made the grunts go away.

Hermione had found some 'nice dead ferrets' (J.K.'s words not this narrator's) and got Buckbeak into the forest. Alex made a mad dash for the forest and then they ran wildly into the gloom. They stopped by the lake. Harry shuddered as he saw the spot he'd see something Alex didn't.

x-x-x-x-x

D'you Love Me?

Alex looked at the sunset. Hermione was with Buckbeak and Harry was next to her.

"I swear he's crazy," Harry commented out of the blue.

"Who?" Alex asked, cheeks burning because she relly knew what he was talking about.

"George," Harry looked up at the darkening sky as she looked down.

"Oh..."

Harry took her hand and looked her in the eye.

"Harry... what you said before..." Alex sighed. "In the Shrieking Shack... you said you loved me."

"Uh... like a sister or pet goldfish!" Harry pointed to the sky in exclamation.

"Oh..." Alex said again. She wriggled her perfectly plucked eyebrows in mock. "I thought you wanted to sex me up on the floor of the Shrieking Shack."

Harry reddened, "I do not!"

"Then you'll have no problem kissing me," Alex smield evily.

"Uh... I don't know- what if I suck?" Harry said, looking around, possibly for Hermione to come and rescue him.

Alex kissed him. He put a hand around his hand on the back of her neck/head and the other on her back. He was falling into something dangerous. He was playing with fire. Red fire with the name of Alexia Russo.

She parted and stood. "Never mention it to anyone. I have a rep to protect."

x-x-x-x-x

Saving Private Black

Sirius looked from the werewolf to his godson to Snivellous to Alex. He ran at Lupin, growling and howling as he soared at his friend. P-Alex dropped the bulk that was Past-Snape and charged at the raging lunatic Lupin. Future Alex watched as past-her whacked the werewolf on the head and finally saw the fucking stomach injury that made her faint later on.

"Wow! I can be so stupid! I have to remember that European werewolves are different from ours," Future Alex commented as she saw herself get thrown into the Whomping Willow then charge again.

They waited in silence again, watching events they'd already seen again like they were reruns of a soap opera or a baseball game.

Hermione scowled. They hadn't heard the howl that lured the werewolf away yet. Alex was still nattering on about how one of Justin's girlfriends was an American werewolf and she proved they knew nothing about eachother.

"It was so funny! Justin got turned into one and he howled like a bitch!" She laughed. "He went !"

Her howl was the howl they'd heard. The howl she'd been mocking. Which meant...which meant the werewolf was heading straight for them!

Harry grabbed Alex's arm and Hermione grabbed his shirt and they ran, Alex complaining that they should just use magic!

"We can't! He's still Profesor Lupin," Hermione explained as they ran into the eerie quiet of the forest. Bats swarmed through the trees like something from a horror film. The fog around their feet was thinning.

Alex gave a yelp and the other two turned to see Lupin with a fist around her neck. She did the first thought that came to her.

"_McReary Time-Reary_!" she shouted, making the gestures as quickly as she'd said the incantations.

Time reround and Alex turned just in time to whack the werewolf with her boot. It slumped to the ground.

"Alex? How did you do that?" Hermione asked before remembering. "Oh yeah. You've got American magic."

"Damn right I have," Alex frowned at her boot. She put it back on and then turned to see past-herself, past-Harry and Sirius at the bank. The three hid behind a tree (again) and watched the frost creep over the ever still lake.

"I saw my dad," Harry told her.

"He's dead!" Alex gave him a sarcastic look.

"Yeah but he as just there," he pointed to the ridge just in front of them.

Hermione gave a muffled yelp and the dementors descended onto the lake, swirling like vultures awaiting the prey to die. They swooped down. Alex saw herself shake as she tried to patronus them away then callapse. Harry lasted a bit longer but no that long. Alex took refuge in that.

Suddenly, Harry ran onto the ridge and shouted, "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A silvery stag shot from his wand. Alex ran out too as past-Harry fell and took her English wand from her boot.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" she lazily shouted out and her silvery cat burst into view.

x-x-x-x-x

They rode Buckbeak to the tower that Auror's had put Sirius in. Hermione was screaming her dislike whilst Harry was boasting nonsense and Alex was laughing.

"That was great!" Alex grinned as they got off at the tower top.

They ran and found his cell. Sirius was laying on a stack of wet straw and was watching the night sky. His vacant expression brightened and turned into a smile of disbelief at the sight of his godson and friends.

"Sirius!" Harry smiled.

"Harry!" Sirius leaped to his feet.

"_Bombarda_!" Hermione cast at the hinges.

Sirius stepped out. At first he was wary then he became confidant no one waswatching and ran with the three thirteen year old kids. They rode the hippogriff to the paved coartyard.

"That was brilliant!" Alex and Sirius chorused.

Harry hugged his godfather and Hermione made sure Buckbeak didn't fly off by feeding it 'nice dead ferrets'. Alex stood and stared at the sky. She remembered how Harry had kissed her. How George had kissed her. She began to think how confused she was. Before that night, there'd only been George. Even if he did lead her on and dump her when they weren't even going out. Harry'd always liked her. She'd known it the whole time. Niether of them would admit they like someone but Harry, being the man-slut he is, didn't even see he liked her until second year when they defeated Tom Riddle.

"You were a great help, Alexia Russo," Sirius came up next to her. "I would never have gotten here of it weren;t for your help."

"Ah, well, it was nothing," she smiled and hugged him. "Now, get outta here, you dog."

"It's not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving, Alex," he winked.

"No is it in my nature either," Alex looked at Gryffindor tower in the moonlight. It looked pretty. She squinted and saw figures in the boys dorms moving.

Sirius mock saluted and climbed on Buckbeak's back. He nodded at the trio.

"You really are the brightest witch of your age, Hermione," he grinned and the hippogriff charged forward and took off. He flew into the moon like E.T. without the bike and the actual E.T. as the moonlight shone down on the castle.

Alex hugged Hermione out of sudden exhaustion. Harry kissed her cheek and then the clock sounded. Hermione dragged the pair behind her. Alex ran as and like a cat, in leaps and bounds. Harry and Hermione were left to eat her dust as she skidded... into Dumbles, coming from the Hospital Wing.

"Well?" he asked the sprawled out girl. She noticed for the first time how he walked stiff that night. Like he'd... NO FUCKING WAY! Alex knew a secret about Dumbledore! Blackmail!

"We did it!" Harry punched the air as he halted next to her.

"Did what?" Dumbles asked. He turned and left them. "Good night."

They burst through the doors of the Hospital Wing just as the last of their image faded back in time. Ron's shocked face was all Alex needed to laugh. His glowing ears were as pink as ever at the sight of them and his face pale, making it seem brighter than ot was.

"How did you get there when you were just..?" he stuttered.

"What's he talking about?" Hermione asked, asmile on her lips.

"Dunno," Harry laughed.

"Stay off the crack, Ronald," Alex instructed.

x-x-x-x-x

_**A/N:**_** THE END OF CHAPTER 3! We're on our way everybody! I'm sorry if at times it seems rushed but I had to finish this before my exams started for propers. I'll even get a stupid timetable with my exam times written on them. As well as that, I have to do my Spanish written exam next week. It's boring now! I hate the subject of 'Mis Vacaciones'!**

**Next Time On**

**Alex In Hogwarts!**

_"The Twiwizard Cup!"_

_"Wouldn't it be cool if I was one of the champions?"_

_"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIENDS!"_

_Six champions..._

_"Viktor Krum!"_

_"Fluer Delacour!"_

_"Cedric Diggory!"_

_"Dylan Pleasant!"_

_"Harry Potter?"_

_"Alex Russo?"_

_One Tournament..._

_"That was bloody horrible!"_

_"Go with me to the ball?"_

_"I like cheese!"_

_One Goal..._

_"I want to win!"_

_"Sometimes, I want to dance on the table with no clothes on!"_

_One adventure..._

_Alex in Hogwarts!_

_Here we go again_

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	4. Fourth Year Part One

_**Alex In Hogwarts**_

_**A/N:**_** Hey! I'm back with the fourth instalment of AIH/E! I hope you guys like it. 'Cause I'm supposed to be revising for my mock exams. Enough about exams, though, because I want to ask you guys something: Should Alex and her brothers go to WizTech? And please suggest what they should do if they do go. This chapter is a bit more about the romance/drama but I have tried as best as possible to add funny parts.**

**Answer via review please!**

**Thanks guys. Lets rock this bitch! (or not, whatever floats your boat. I would prefer you to read this story but... in the end its your choice)**

_Fourth Year (Part One)_

Freaky Mishaps

The villagers of Little Hangleton called it the Riddle House. Even after all this time; even after the... events. It looked over them all on a hill overlooking the village, windows boarded in places, missing tiles on its roof and ivy spreading over it in frenzy. The once grand manor,

3the largest building around was damp, derelict and creepy. The Little Hangletons all agreed about that.

Fifty years ago, a strange and horrific happening had happened there, something the older inhabitants of Little Hangleton dare discuss when no gossip was about. The story had been undone and woven again in so many places that nobody even knew if the story was true anymore. Every version started the same. Fifty years before, at daybreak on a fine summers morn, when Riddle House was kept in fabulous up keeping and when it should have been awakening, a maid entered the drawing room of the grand house, to find all three Riddles dead.

The maid had run screaming to the village.

"Wedgie!" she screamed. She sorted it out and turned to everyone else. "Oh, and I just found the Riddles dead in the drawing room. They were just lying there with their eyes wide open! Cold as fucking ice, they were, too. Still dressed for dinner too, the lazy buggers."

The police were summoned and the village had thrived on the gossip and the curiosity. A man named Frank had been arrested. The people were shocked. But Frank checked out okay and continued to live in a small hovel on the edge of the Riddle estate. With every new owner, a talk of a 'nasty feeling about the place' came and went partly because of Frank.

And so the manor had fallen into broken disrepair. A morose sight, truly.

Presently, we watched Frank spotted a light in the old manor. A light that hadn't been alight in some fifty years.

"Kids," he grumbled. He grabbed an air rifle and a torch and trudged from his home and into the rainy terrain, muttering darkly to himself about the whole situation.

The front door was open and opened without a creak.

The big kitchen was familiar to him as it was fifty years back. He reached the hall and walked up the silent stone stairs. Frank's torch failed him as he reached the landing the light had been on. He shuffled along, thanking the lord above (if there is any) for the dust that muffled his steps. Strange patterns, like a snake had crawled through here many times, snaked their way to and from the only room with a bit open. The crackles of fire hit his ears in the silence of the house. Frank readied his air rifle. He crept to the room. A slithering thing went across his foot, making Frank look down. A snake! The snake slithered ahead of Frank and into the room.

A mans voice sounded like the hiss of snakes. It terrified Frank but he knew he must press on and get these squatters from the place. The voice spoke and it said, "Move me closer to the fire, Wormtail."

"Yes, master," a fearful voice stuttered, still out of Frank's vision. A scraping noise signified a chair moving. Frank could see the back of the chair.

"Where is Nagini?" the snake voice asked the man Wormtail.

"I-I don't know, my Lord," the man Wormtail replied. "She set o-out to explore the house, my Lord. She hasn't yet returned."

This was untrue. Frank saw the snake watch him, out of the voices' vision, he presumed.

"Very well. Show me again," the snake Lord commanded.

A man came into Frank's sight. He knelt before the chair, bowing briefly before rolling his sleeve up and showing the chair a mark that Frank could barely see. He needed glasses desperately. He was even squinting now.

"My lord," the man spoke. It wasn't Wormtail.

"Ah, not long then," the snake voice seemed satisfied.

The snake chose the moment to slither into the voice's view and hissed.

The hisses sounded like words. Like strangled words.

"Oh," the snake Lord chuckled. "The old gardener is standing outside the door, eavesdropping. Let's show our guest our... hospitality."

An ugly man came by the door, smiling at Frank like a mad man.

"Open the door, Wormtail. I'd like to greet our vict- I mean, guest," the voice hissed.

Frank dropped his torch and rifle and backed away at the sight.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" the snake voice yelled and a flash of green light illuminated the house.

x-x-x-x-x

Miles away, the girl formally known as Bart Simpson, a.k.a. Alex Russo, woke up screaming in a cold sweat.

"Alex?" the kind face of Mrs Weasley filled her line of vision.

"Sorry. Nightmare..." Alex gasped for breath.

"Sounded like one," Justin called from the door. "Sorry everyone. Alex just had another nightmare."

"Shut up!" Alex threw the nearest thing she could grab at him. He stopped it with his American wand.

"Nice try, Alex," he grinned, his eyes laughing at her.

x-x-x-x-x

Rubberduckzilla!

"Alex! WAKE UP!" Hermione yelled in Alex's face.

"Hermione," she growled. "This better be important."

The teenage witches were all in Ginny's room. The room was girly and Alex, for one, thought her fur wallpaper was much better than the pink flowery wallpaper that Ginny had. Fair play, though, the flowers did move.

"Well, do you want to have breakfast before we go wit the Weasleys to the Quidditch World Cup?" Hermione asked.

"Will George be there?" Alex mumbled, sitting up.

"I should think so," Hermione shrugged.

"Fuck that!" Alex flopped back down.

About ten minutes later, Hermione managed to bribe Alex down to breakfast with the latest 'Artz' magazine.

"Morning all," she skipped, clutching her magazine to her chest.

Hermione sat down next to Ron... leaving a place for Alex next to he-who-is-not-Voldemort-but-shall-not-be-named. She scowled and sat down.

"Hi, Alex," Fred winked across the table.

"Hello, Fred," Alex smiled back.

"Have you seen a Quidditch international match before, Alex?" Ginny asked. She was sitting opposite Harry who was gloomily mixing his porridge around.

"Nope but do they have to start so early?" Alex asked.

"Yes," Mr Weasley answered. "Now, Alex, Harry can't tell me and Hermione confuses me. What is the function of a _rubber duck_?"

"To play with in the bath," Alex yawned. "Or blow up. Or whatever takes your fancy and it's possible for the rubber duck. I prefer to blow them up or tie them to train tracks."

"Well. That takes care of that matter," Arthur Weasley smiled.

"Not quite," Alex smiled impishly. She pulled a bottle of Oasis out from nowhere and stood up, startling everyone but her brothers, Max and Justin. "RUBBERDUCKZILLA! Oasis for people who don't like water!"

x-x-x-x-x

Meeting Cedric Diggory

"This is my son, Cedric," Mr Diggory pointed as the boy jumped down.

"Nice to meet you," Cedric smiled.

Alex felt a pang of instant dislike.

"You!" Cedric cried as she stepped closer. "Stay away from me!"

"What? What I do?" Alex looked around like an innocent. _Yeah right!_

"You set Cornish Pixies on me!" Cedric screamed and ducked behind his father.

"Yeah, because you put yellow contact lenses in your eyes from the Muggle world," Alex rolled her eyes. "And glitter glue down your front and walked about pretending to be a vampire. Do you have any idea what a real vampire looks like? Have you ever been to Italy? Or Romania?"

"No," Cedric answered, blushing.

"Well, then. Let's start over. Hi, I'm Alex Russo, American wizard," she offered him a hand.

He examined it before he shook it. He regretted not checking up her sleeves. His hand was covered in purple spray paint and how it didn't mark her, he had no idea.

"And that's for being an Edward, bi-yatch!" Alex laughed.

Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George (quietly), Max and the adults laughed. Hermione and Cedric looked quite annoyed.

"Cheer up, Ced," Mr Diggory chuckled. "It's just a bit of American humour. It's quite funny actually."

Cedric looked at his hand. It looked a bit like a glove. He pulled out some glitter glue from nowhere and covered it in the sparkly glue. It was like a purple Michael Jackson glove. Cedric spun around, grabbed his crotch and went on his tip toes.

"OW!" he yelled in a tenor voice (a high male voice. As opposed to Alto, a low male voice).

Alex laughed and clapped. The idiot may have an uncanny resemblance to Edward Cullen but he danced better... the fuck head. Alex bet Fred he was on steroids.

x-x-x-x-x

A (Brief) Surprise Visit From Celebrity Guest Jimmy Carr!

Ginny and Hermione giggled a lot. Alex found it annoying. Apparently, Ginny liked the Edward Cullen look-alike. She was listening to the most emo thing she could find on her iWand. Thank the Lord above that she'd gotten enough birthday money to buy a whole new wardrobe and a brand new wand. She still had the other ones but she preferred this one. It could do both American and English spells. And it was pretty. It was slim and had a dark blue handle. She liked blue.

"George, Fred, Alex!" Mr Weasley yelled through the tent. Three sighs could be heard as the three came from their places. Mr Weasley was waiting, grinning, a man stood beside him. Alex felt ready to faint.

The man raised an eyebrow. "These are the three kids that like playing jokes?"

"Yes," Mr Weasley beamed.

Alex couldn't hold it in any longer. "OHMYFUCKINGGIDDYGODSPAJAMAS! IT'S JIMMY CARR!"

The twins gave a 'huh?' and looked at Alex like she was an interesting television show.

"He's a comedian! The funniest man on EARTH!" Alex explained to them. "Although, he's a Muggle comedian. What're you doing here, Jimmy?"

"Come to see the Quidditch, of course. Honestly. You Americans," Jimmy rolled his eyes and spoke like a stereotypical gay.

"Mr Carr is a comedian to the Muggles, but he's a close family friend of the Weasleys," Mr Weasley grinned.

Jimmy looked at his watch. "Is that the time? Well, this was nice. Must dash, bye!"

And Jimmy Carr sauntered off.

x-x-x-x-x

Well, That Was Unexpected

Alex screamed as Viktor Krum flew by, after the Snitch.

"I wish I was Viktor Krum," she heard Harry mutter.

She stepped on his foot. "You're fine the way you are, Harry," she yelled into his ear.

"But-"

"No 'if's or 'but's," she screamed.

"Fine!"

The game was amazing; an Irish player gained another ten points, getting the Quaffle past the Bulgarian Keeper. A beater flew by, winking at her. Alex blushed and felt a sudden urge to jump on the broom with him. But she wasn't going to because she was sane... ish.

Alex, instead, turned away, mouthing the word 'toilet' to Ginny and Hermione who nodded understandably.

She sighed as she reached the doors. Her hand was caught by someone. She turned. Draco Malfoy, in all his fitty glory, stood holding her hand.

"Oi, Russo. Off to burn the British flag?" Malfoy laughed.

"Shut it, Malfoy, or I'll set my brother's ex-girlfriend/werewolf on you," Alex growled.

"Actually, I come in... peace?" Draco nodded, dragging her away from the doors of the toilets. He grabbed open a door and Alex found herself in the Minister's box. Draco quickly pulled her into the corner.

"Malfoy! What's this all about?" Alex hissed.

"There's going to be an attack later on," Draco whispered. "You need to get yourself away from here."

"What? Why?" Alex asked, surprised by Draco's warning.

"Because, if something happened to you, I wouldn't want to go to Hogwarts anymore," Draco admitted.

Alex was in shock. Wow, two things from Draco 'Slytherin Sucker' Malfoy. One a warning, the other a confession of love?

"Are you trying to trick me?" Alex demanded, bringing her American wand out.

"No... I... kinda... like you. You're devious, smart, cunning and should be in Slytherin," Draco hissed hack.

Alex pushed him away from her with her left hand. Draco actually caught it and pulled her in to a kiss. The worst part for Alex... was that it felt so wrong yet so right. She hated it, yet she loved it. She kicked his shin and ran out of the room.

x-x-x-x-x

Conflicting Feelings

Alex was torn. Chocolate or cake? She sighed and gave up.

"_Commakus Pancakus_!" Alex said, waving her iWand. Pancakes appeared on the table in front of her and the Weasleys plus Hermione and Harry. The Russo brothers were arguing over which desert still in the kitchen.

"Yum!" Ron moaned audibly.

"CHOCOLATE!" Max yelled at the eldest Russo child.

"CAKE!" Justin argued.

"CHOCOLATE!"

"CAKE!"

"CHOCOLATE CAKE!" Alex yelled from the table, throwing a pancake at them. It landed on Justin's face. The twins joined in the laughter of Alex and Max as Justin almost went into a conniption. His eye started to twitch and he began shaking violently.

"Aaaalex!" Justin growled. He was shaking so much that he was moving across the floor.

"Ha ha, watch. He'll start to polka in a second. Either that or start singing," Alex pointed. Justin did both.

"Alex, Alex, I hate you," Justin sang, starting to polka.

Alex grinned, "Justin, Justin- the feelings mutual." She got up and took out her English wand. "_Accio pork sirloin_."

A piece of meat flew to her open palm. She then proceeded to slap the meat onto Justin's head. Justin stopped polkaing and turned to Alex.

"Okay, Alex... you win," Justin said, clenching his teeth. He whipped out his American wand and waved it. Alex found herself covered in meat. "Not.

Alex sniffed, "But at least I make it look good."

Alex waved her American wand and the meat dissolved into a pair of jeans and a red and gold t-shirt.

x-x-x-x-x

What If You Died Tonight?

Alex was searching. That stupid black-robed wizarding version of the Ku Klux Klan had caused havoc. It was amazing what Wizards could do when running away. Draco was right.

The night was clear except for the symbol above. The Dark Mark. Alex's skin prickled and she gulped every time she looked up at the sky.

She heard a moan. Harry Potter was stumbling through a set of deaded (that's not even a word!) tents. Fires raged in places but everything was silent.

"Harry," Alex breathed and ran to her friend. She threw her arms around him. "Harry!"

"Alex? Alex! There was someone over there," Harry coughed. Alex looked.

"Oh, Harry. You're delirious! There isn't anyone over there," Alex shushed. She let him go then grabbed his face and kissed him. "I'm just so glad you're alive."

x-x-x-x-x

Alex sat alone in living room. It was insanely early. Around four in the morning.

"Alex?" a familiar voice asked from behind her.

"Hey, George," Alex sniffed monotonously.

"Look, I... I missed you when we weren't speaking," George said, coming to sit next to her.

"Yeah, I missed you too," Alex sighed, looking at he window. The sun began to rise. "But it's a new day."

George chuckled softly. "I'm a right pillock, right?"

"No. You're more than that," Alex said, George smiled at her. "You're a cowardly pillock, George."

George's smile faded.

"You shouldn't have gone searching for Harry tonight," George said sternly.

"What do you care?" Alex barked.

"Alex, is this because of what I said last year?" George asked.

"No," Alex snapped.

"Alex..." George was lost for words.

"Silence is knocking on the door, George," Alex told him.

"Alex... listen. I did it for a reason," George sighed.

"Whatever, coward."

"What if you died tonight?"

Alex looked at George. His voice had cracked. He was crying, his face in his hands. His shoulders were heaving.

"George?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here, Alex," George sobbed.

"George, look at me," Alex whispered into his ear. He looked up and Alex hugged him. "You silly nitwit. You know me. I can look after myself."

George held her, wishing he hadn't made the deal. Wishing he could kiss her.

x-x-x-x-x

Jealous? Me? Pfft!

"Anything from the trolley?" the old maid yelled. She came by the compartment that contained Harry, Hermione, Ron and Alex. "Anything from the trolley, dears?"

"Packet of Drooble's and a Liquorice Wand," Ron said, handing her money. Realising, he hadn't enough, he then added, "On second thought, just the Drooble's."

"It's alright, I'll get it," Harry offered him, digging into his pocket. "Don't worry."

Ron remained adamant. "Just the Drooble's. Thanks."

Ron took his packet and retreated into the compartment. Alex stood, galleons at the ready. She stood next to Harry.

"Five Liquorice Wands please and a chocolate frog," Alex smiled at the old woman. She paid but stayed with Harry.

"Two pumpkin pasties, please," the accented voice of Cho Chang sang. Both Harry and Alex looked up at her. Cho smiled at Harry, almost ignoring Alex.

"Anything sweet for you dear?" the lady asked Harry as Cho walked away.

"Uh, no, no," Harry shook his head. The pair sat down in the compartment once again. Alex gave them each a Liquorice Wand, saving one for later. Ron almost refused if it hadn't been for the fact that Alex had given Harry and Hermione one too.

"Why was she looking at you like that, Harry?" Alex asked, a one in her voice that stung like a hornet.

"Why do you care, Alex?" Harry shot back. "Are you jealous or something?"

"Jealous? Me? Pfft!" Alex swatted it away.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "That means yes, then."

"No it doesn't, scar-head," Alex snapped.

"Don't call me that, Alex!" Harry stood up.

"Oh, yeah? Scar-head, Scar-head!" Alex chanted, standing up to rival him. She was taller than him by an inch. "Or maybe I should call you shortie."

"Shut up!" Harry yelled, pushing her backwards. Alex landed with a thump. Her ankle had twisted on her way down and tears pricked her eyes.

Alex stood up again and hobbled out the compartment, leaving behind a sorry-looking Harry and an angry looking pair of friends who glared at Harry.

Alex made her way three cabins down, her foot better within two minutes. She started to walk properly again and made for the twins compartment. She made it to the next compartment before a hand took her arm.

"Look, Harry, don't try to bloody apologise," she muttered turning to see George. "Oh."

"Hi," George smiled weakly. "Want to come and sit with me, Lee and Fred?"

"Angelina there?" Alex asked.

"No. She's gone to sit with the fifth year girls," George shook his head. Alex nodded and took his hand.

He was three compartments down with Alex in tow when Draco Malfoy made a surprise appearance.

"What are you doing, Weasley?" Draco sneered.

"Shut it, Malfoy," Alex snapped at the blonde.

"Quiet, my dear," Malfoy glared at her briefly. He turned to George. "Forgotten our deal?"

"Deal? What deal?" Alex asked, looking at George confused.

"Why, hasn't he told you?" Malfoy smiled. God, that was scary! "He made a deal with me and my end of the bargain was you, Alex."

"George? What did George get?" Alex asked, annoyed.

"A cure," Malfoy smiled.

"A cure? Wh-what happened?" Alex asked.

"I'll tell you when we get to Hogwarts," George muttered. "Malfoy, we were just going to see Lee and Fred."

"As long as you remember the deal," Draco laughed.

x-x-x-x-x

So Tired Of Being Worried About George

Max was directly behind Alex as she sat down at the Gryffindor table.

"Welcome! Now we're all settled in and sorted, I have a special announcement," Dumbledore (a.k.a. Dumbles the Powerpuff Girl!) announced. "This castle will not only be your home this year but to some special guests as well." At which point, the caretaker, Argus Filch (more commonly known as that scabby cunt, that twat, Oi Ugly, and Mr I-Have-Regular-Sex-With-My-Cat or just plain Filch) came running in. The two whispered back and forth for a few seconds before Filch turned and ran back to the doors. "So, Hogwarts has bee chosen to host a legendary event."

From somewhere in the rafters a drum roll started.

"The Triwizard Cup!"

The drum roll became a drum solo and Alex looked up to see her brother Max playing a set of drums. She turned around to see Diggory smiling nervously at her. She sneered and turned back to her brother.

"MAX!" she and Justin stood. "Get down!"

Alex turned to Justin and Justin looked at her with wide eyes. What just happened?

"Okay, but Professor Dumbledore promised me a monkey," Max shrugged. "Beat that!"

Alex took out her English wand. "_Accio Max_!"

Max flew swiftly down onto the Gryffindor table where Alex promptly dragged him off and sat back down.

"Anyway," Dumbles rolled his scary sparkling eyes that haunted the little kiddiewinks' nightmares. "Now, for those of you who do not know, the Twiwizard brings together four schools. It used to be three but then we came to acknowledge the American magic. Carrying on, it brings together four schools for a series of magical contests. From each school, a single student is selected to compete. Let me be clear. If chosen, you stand alone. And trust me when I say these contests are not for the faint-hearted. But more of that later. For now, please join me in welcoming the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and their headmistress, Madame Maxime."

The doors opened and a bunch of Veela rivalling girls dressed in blue silk uniforms came walking in, stopping every now and then to sigh and faun over the people. At some point, they started to run and little blue fairy things flew from under their little blue capes. They split into two rows by the time they'd reached the front. A ballerina and an acrobat twirled and flipped into the hall and behind them, a giant of a lady, who Alex presumed to be Madame Maxime, walked behind them, smiling down at the Hogwarts students.

"Blimey, that's one big woman," Seamus muttered to Ron and Harry.

The dance ended and the hall erupted in volcanic applause.

"Madame," Dumbles nodded at the lady before kissing her fingers. He went back up to his golden owl podium and called for silence. "And now, for our friends from the north. Please welcome the proud sons of Durmstrang and their high master, Igor Karkaroff."

The doors opened again and boys with staffs came walking in, wearing brown uniforms, some in furry coats and hats. They banged their staffs on the ground whilst walking, making a beat like tap-taptap-tap-taptap. Halfway down the hall the staffs gave off sparks and the boys bowed, the staffs disappearing. The boy in the lead ran forward and started doing some back flips before going into some break dancing. Then a gasp (Ron) and Alex turned to see.

"Blimey, it's him! It's Viktor Krum!" Ron stuttered, gulping.

It was indeed the same seeker from the Quidditch World Cup. He looked smouldering as he came down the middle of the hall, Igor Karkaroff behind him and behind the high master, some dude in grey.

It was the next school that made Alex's day. The doors flew open and a bunch of students in black bathrobes and glasses that reminded Alex of Harry came in, some turned into animals and some just sauntered in. That was the American way. Lazy yet defined. And Alex knew all about that.

"The students of WizTech," Dumbles announced. "And their headmaster, and my close personal friend, Professor Ian Crumbs!"

Professor Crumbs appeared beside Dumbles.

"Hello, Albus. Care to place a bet?" the man asked. His beard wasn't as long as Dumbledore's. HE turned to the students. "I knew your headmaster when this," he yanked on his beard softly, "was just a soul patch for the ladies. Professor McGonagall would know al-"

"Eh, thank you, Ian," Dumbles interrupted, saving Professor McGonagall from embarrassment.

A boy walked past Alex and smiled at her. She smiled back and held up her iWand. The boy's smile widened. He showed her his iWand. His had a green handle instead of the dark blue.

x-x-x-x-x

What's The Deal?

George sat down next to Fred and Lee was writing on a piece of parchment. Alex came down the dorm stairs and sat down.

"Malfoy can't get us here, George," she whispered to him. "What did you make a deal on?"

"A cure," George gulped. Alex could see he was uncomfortable. She stood up, taking him with her. She guided him up the dorm stairs and into the fifth year boys' room. No one was in there but them.

"Care to carry on?" Alex asked, her throat suddenly dry.

"He cursed me, Alex. Gave me an illness. It... was an illness in my... manly area," George gulped. "He wanted you. I wouldn't let him... but then it began to get worse... he offered me the cure... and I caved."

Alex felt the tears long after they'd started. She hugged him.

"I'm not an item Malfoy can buy. I'll never go to him," Alex promised. "I'd turn everybody else down in the world if it meant I could be with you."

George hugged her back. "Please don't tell Fred."

"Or Lee," Alex agreed. "Or anyone else."

George kissed her cheek.

"You know something, Alex? I love you," George sobbed into her shoulder.

x-x-x-x-x

DADA Class With Moody

Moody was mad. He always had been.

His glass eye was magic. He stared at Alex a lot. She stayed bolt upright in his classes, scared of him. There was something scary about him. In his first class, he'd shown them the Unforgivable Curses. She still had nightmares with green flashes.

Today, Moody was showing them how to use objects that sense your enemies and when someone's being untruthful.

"It let's you keep an eye on your enemies. When you see the whites of their eyes, they're standing right behind you!" Professor Mad-Eye Moody told the class, his voice rough. He pointed to the Foe-Glass next to him, Hermione wrote it down twice, once for herself, once for Alex. If she didn't, Alex would have no recollection of this lesson.

Mad-Eye moved on to the Sneak-o-scope.

"Miss Russo!" he called.

"Yes, sir?" Alex stuttered, frightened out of her skin.

"What does a Sneak-o-scope do?" Moody asked her.

"Oh, it, uh, lights up and makes a noise when someone near-by is being untruthful," Alex asked.

"Yes it does," Professor Moody nods. He picked it up and put it in front of her. "Now, please tell a lie to show what you mean, Miss Russo."

"You're a sexy MILF, Professor Moody," Alex said simply and the Sneak-o-scope light up and made a noise that resembled a mouse being run-over by a steam-roller.

"Hmm," Moody growled. "You're an American wizard?"

"Yeah, it means I'm often crazier than you," Alex snorted, scared but trying to get a laugh out if it. It worked. Malfoy laughed.

"Mr Malfoy," Moody turned. "If you think this is funny, you've got a detention for the next three Saturdays."

x-x-x-x-x

The Fifth

"Hi," a boy's voice broke through her tears.

"This is a girls' room, nimrod," Alex shouted back.

"It's also abandoned," the boy laughed.

Alex opened the door of the stall and saw the WizTech boy from the feast.

"Hi," Alex sniffed, smiling weakly.

"I'm Dylan. Dylan Pleasant," he smiled back.

"Alex Russo," Alex gulped.

"Why are you crying?"

"It's no big deal," Alex shrugged. "Just a little... house rivalry."

"House rivalry? Why aren't you in WizTech anyway? You're American," Dylan asked.

"Actually, I'm part Italian, part Mexican," Alex shrugged again. "And my Mom's the reason I'm here. Mom. God, I haven't said Mom like that in ages. Being here for the past four years does that to you. At some point, my accent changed. Mom said it took her five years to lose the British accent."

Dylan laughed. "You're brothers are Justin and Max right? Hugh's friends."

Alex thought about it. "You mean the guy who owns tiny stuff? The runty giant?"

"That's him," Dylan nodded.

"Nope. Never heard of him," Alex said, getting up out of the stall. "See you 'round, Dylan."

She left the toilets to find Potter and the gang.

x-x-x-x-x

So Pathetically Dim-witted

"Well, 'Mione? What do you think?" Alex asked, a hair pin in her mouth. "I like it in a bun, to be honest."

Alex was talking about her hair.

"Very nice. Now can I get back to my book?" Hermione asked.

Alex let go of her hair. "Fine. I think I see Justin over there, anyway."

Alex sighed and got up. She was walking towards Justin but Justin was talking to Dylan. She stopped by Ron and Harry who were watching Diggory put his in.

"Stupid Edward," Alex coughed, loud enough for Cedric to hear.

"Eternal glory. Be brilliant, wouldn't it? Three years from now when we're old enough to be chosen," Ron said dreamily.

"Rather you than me," Harry laughed, nudging Alex.

"I'd actually like to take part," Alex shrugged. "I'd be able to use both magic types and I'd still be within the rules."

"Whatever," Harry shrugged.

"YES!" Fred and George shouted as they ran in, slapping people's outstretched hands. "Thank you. Thank you. Well, lads, cooked it up just this morning."

"It's not going to work," Hermione warned them.

"Oh yeah?" Fred asked the bushy haired girl.

"And why is that, Granger?" George asked her, winking at Alex. Alex blushed.

"You see this?" Hermione pointed to the white floating line around the Goblet of Fire. "This is an Age Line. Dumbledore drew it himself."

"So?" Alex interrupted.

"So. So, a genius like Dumbledore couldn't possibly be fooled by a dodge as pathetically dim-witted as an Aging Potion," Hermione concluded.

"Ah, you see. Fallen at the first hurdle, Hermione," Alex rolled her eyes.

"You see, that's why it's so brilliant," George said.

"Because it's so pathetically dim-witted," Fred finished.

Hermione looked imploringly at Alex. "Please Alex, don't do this. I don't know how the circle reacts to American magic."

"But Hermione," Alex looked at her with big eyes. "Wouldn't it be cool if I was one of the champions?"

"NO!" Hermione shouted as she joined Fred and George on the bench.

"Ready boys?" she took out her iWand. "Make me old and barely alive, age me up to thirty-five!"

The magic made Alex look old. She looked kind of ridiculous.

"Alex!" Justin yelled. He stopped suddenly. "Nice frosting job to cover the greys."

"Well, I am clever," Alex said, stroking her hair.

Justin waved his own wand and Alex turned back into herself.

"Hey!" Alex protested.

"I can't let you do this!" Dylan called, coming up next to Alex. He took out his own wand. "Make us old and barely alive, age us up to thirty-five."

The pair turned old and hopped into the circle before Justin could do anything.

George sighed. "Ready, Fred."

"Ready, George," his twin replied.

"Bottoms up," they said in unison. They drank the potions and jumped in. All four threw in pieces of parchment with their names on them into the blue flames. The flames burned cyan for a single second.

"Yes!" the twins cheered, Alex stepped out of the circle and waved her iWand, turning her back into her fourteen year old self. Dylan was too late as he and the twins were thrown out of the circle by fires.

The twins aged faster. George sat up at the same time as Fred. An argument arose when they felt their faces. Dylan sighed and waved his wand. He returned to normal. The twins began to fight. Who said what was hard to keep track of.

"You said!"

"_You_ said!"

"Oh, right, you want a piece of me?"

"I'll tear your ears off!"

"Now your making me laugh."

"Take this! Come on!"

"I swear if you ever hit me in the balls again I'll fucking kill you!"

"I am the one and only!"

"Fight, fight, fight," the crowd cheered.

The crowd silenced when Viktor Krum entered the room. Alex noticed how he singled Hermione out and smiled at her briefly. Hermione swallowed and watched him back. _Hm, love is in the air, in the whisper of the trees_, Alex sang in Hermione's head.

"Alex!" Hermione moaned.

"What? What've I done?" Alex asked, laughing.

Viktor put his name in the Goblet and walked away, glancing back at Hermione.

The twins were still fighting and Alex saw Fred reaching for his wand. _Uh oh..._ Alex came forward and tried to part them.

"We're 'old school', ey?"

"Yeah, but you look older!"

"Enough!" she yelled, her voice echoing 'enough, enough, enough, cookie, enough'. "Huh. My echo is broken."

The twins parted and Alex took George's arm.

"You know, I think I kinda regret doing that," Alex whispered to him.

"It'll be worth it if any of us get picked," George replied, stoking her hair.

x-x-x-x-x

Need To Tell Her

Hermione read from the book as Alex tried to listen.

"The Goblin Treaty..." Hermione started, noticing Alex wasn't exactly listening. "The Goblin Treaty came up with a way to fix the tomato- Alex!"

"Huh? Sorry, what?" Alex asked, looking up from the fires of the Gryffindor common room. Fred and George entered and collapsed on the chairs.

"Hello, girls," they greeted.

"Hi, twins," Alex replied.

"Fred, George," Hermione sniffed.

"Hermione Jean Granger! You're not still sore that we went against your advice, are you?" Fred said, as if he was outraged.

"We're shocked!" George gasped.

"Whatever," Hermione grumbled.

Alex sighed, "Listen, Hermione, come and help me get the coffee from my trunk. Fred, don't you have some biscuits somewhere? I could use a study break."

"Sure. Coming George?" Fred asked his twin, rising from his seat.

"Sorry, mate. You don't exactly need me to fetch a packet of biscuits," George declined.

"Fine. See you girls in a minute," Fred nodded.

"And Fred?" George called.

"Yeah?"

"Get the safe biscuits. We don't want any incidents right now," George told him. Fred's shoulders slumped a little but he should have known. George wouldn't want Alex to come to harm.

The girls and Fred left for separate dorms and George wilted, sighing.

"I love that woman. I love her and... I need to tell her," George sighed. He started to sing. "Love is blind, love is life, love is new, love is old. Oh, how I love her, oh, how I do. I'd die for her, I'd lie for her."

He stopped. "What if she laughs?... Would I blame her?"

The girl's dorm door opened and Alex and Hermione came out.

"Hey! Listen, I've just realised I have some of McGonagall's homework that I need to do," George rushed, getting up rapidly. He left just as his twin came out with the biscuits.

"What's eating him?" Fred asked, pointing in the general direction of George.

"Don't know," Alex shrugged. "Said something about transfig. homework."

"Homework?" Fred wrinkled his nose. "We never do our homework! I'll go talk to him."

He threw the biscuits to the girls before exiting to the dorm. He found his twin on his bed, face down.

"Mate? George?" Fred asked.

"I can't do this anymore, Fred. I... I love her, for crying out loud!" George sobbed, muffled.

"It was never going to be easy for you," Fred sighed. "You're in different years. She's fifteen on Halloween!"

"But... Fred. I. Love. Her," George spelled it out.

"I know, mate," Fred sighed. "Just tell her."

x-x-x-x-x

Mine

Malfoy stopped her on her way to nap-time/Divination, his bodyguards behind him like always.

"What're you doing with Weasley?" Malfoy asked her. "I could just as easily do it again, Alex. You're mine."

"Shut it, Blondie," Alex growled, she started to walk by but he stopped her. Alex stepped back. She slapped him across the face before pulling out her iWand. "You remember that elephant trunk I gave you? I can do much worse, Malfoy. And I won't. If you both A- give me a galleon a week and B- never touch George again, you fucking minion of Moldymort the paedophilic Gay Lord of Dorks, who we all know got PWNed by Harry as a baby, and we all know you wank of to Harry because you're secretly gay! Now, fuck off and leave George and me alone. I ain't a prize nor anything that can bought. I am a person. A Wizard. I can curse you and jinx you until bloody 2012 because apparently, the world's meant to end then but I'm to lazy to actually believe it. You're bloody fucking stupid need to bastard grow up and open your stupid fucking eyes and smell the shitty roses and bastard bitching fuck off! I'll never be yours. I won't ever ever never ever bastard be yours or anyone fucking else's because I'd rather go and fucking live under a forest trolls bastard armpit. So fuck off to you fucking father. And BTW you're mother's actually a man called Bob. Enjoy that little fact, twat! FAIL! FAILFAILFAIL! Now go bloody take a bastard running fucking jump, you coward! Ha! Owned by a Gryffindor! Now fuck to it!"

Malfoy was stunned. Alex was breathing heavily. She pointed her wand at him.

"This bastard is now not, a ferret should fill his slot," Alex breathed. Malfoy turned into a ferret swiftly and Alex picked him up and gave him to Goyle. "Make sure that vile Muggle-hating bitch gets seen to."

She skipped ahead.

x-x-x-x-x

George was literally crying with joy. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Alex couldn't breath under his hug. She wished she'd told him in a more private place but, hey, a girl can't think of everything at once. They were sat on his bed, listening to the rain fall.

"Okay, you're crushing my windpipe," Alex gasped. George looked into her eyes and lunged into a kiss. Alex gripped him by the shoulders and kissed back, remembering all the hurt he'd been made to give her, remembering how much she'd missed him. Oh god, she wanted him.

George surfaced for air. "Thank you," he whispered to her lips, kissing her again.

"It's nothing really," Alex smiled at him.

"But it is!" George insisted, kissing her neck.

Alex kissed his cheek and stroked his hair as he moved up her neck and chin to her mouth. He held onto her and kissed her like that for five minutes before he stopped and looked at her face.

"What are we going to do now?" Alex asked, hand on his.

"I don't know."

The rain splattered the window. George said something that shocked Alex.

"Be mine," he begged.

Alex smiled softly. "I already am."

x-x-x-x-x

Two Too Many

"Holy shit!" Alex muttered as she sat down next to Harry. "There are a lot of people here."

"Yeah," Harry grinned.

"And have you heard?" George asked, standing behind her, his arms around her affectionately.

"Yeah. Congratulations, mate. You got the one that can't be tamed," Harry laughed. Secretly, he was disappointed. He thought he had some running at least but George had always had her. He remembered how saying George was there made Alex wake up after the first Dementor attack. How she was so upset when he dumped her. How she'd often say his name in her sleep (unknown by herself). Harry had always known he'd never stand a chance against the older boy.

"Thanks, mate," George smiled. He lent down and kissed Alex on the cheek, hugging her close. He whispered, "Moment of truth, eh?"

"Yeah. I wonder..." Alex trailed off.

She was shaking with nerves. But then, it could be George. She acted subconsciously around him.

Dumbledore called for quiet.

"First, I'd like to say something: cookie!" Dumbles yelled out for everyone to hear.

"I concur," Crumbs yelled, pointing to the ceiling with a wrinkled index finger. His smile sparkled.

"And I!" Alex yelled out.

"Yes, yes. Now the moment you've all been waiting for: the champion Selection," Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling. He held his hand out and slowly dimmed each lamp individually, turning to the Goblet of Fire. The flames turned red and shot out a piece of parchment. Dumbles caught it. "The Durmstrang champion is... Viktor Krum!"

Durmstrang cheered as Vicky got up and collected his name before going into the Trophy Room.

The flames burned red again and an elegantly folded piece of parchment flew out, almost as elegantly as it was folded.

"The champion for Beauxbatons is... Fleur Delacour!"

The blonde sat up, smiling as she too left for the Trophy Room.

The goblet shot out another piece of parchment.

"The WizTech champion is... Dylan Pleasant!" Dumbles asked the crowd. Crumbs shrugged. "And he's sponsored by WizWorld Industries?"

The boy collected the parchment, shooting double peace signs to the crowd as he backed to the Trophy Room. More red fire shot red out again.

"The Hogwarts champion is... Cedric Diggory!"

The Hufflepuff stood and went to collect his parchment.

"Oh well, eh, Alex?" George whispered in her ear.

"Yeah," Alex smiled up at him and kissed his hand.

Barty Crouch put a large thingygummie on a table in view of everyone. It was covered by a piece of velvety cloth.

"Excellent! We have our four champions!" Dumbledore twirled around, his arms raised. "But in the end, only one will go down in history. Only one will hoist this chalice of champions... this vessel of victory... the Triwizard Cup!"

Dumbledore turned and pointed to the thingygummie on the table and the cloth flew from it and disappeared into nothingness. A cup with the words 'TRI' 'WIZ' 'ARD' engraved on the shining blue glass of the cup. Silver dragon leapt on the glass to form handles. The crowd cheered.

The Goblet's blue flames burned red and two pieces of parchment flew out of the fires. Snape stepped forward in curiosity.

Dumbledore caught them in each hand and read them.

Alex stood in wonder to get a better view, George's arms still around her.

"Alexia Russo and Harry Potter?" Dumbles read quietly. Alex and Harry sat down. "Alexia Russo and Harry Potter!"

Alex felt George's grip tighten softly.

"ALEXIA RUSSO AND Harry POTTER!" Dumbledore screamed.

"Go on, Alex," Hermione pushed the brunette up. She tried the same with Harry but Harry didn't move. George kissed Alex's hand as she walked towards Dumbledore numbly. "Go on, Harry. Harry for goodness sake."

Harry joined Alex on the death march. They took the parchment pieces. They swapped parchment pieces because they'd been given the wrong ones. Harry looked up, shocked. Alex felt something darken in her. She looked back to George who shrugged coolly. She and Harry made the way to the Trophy Room.

The gates opened magically. The four others were standing beside the fire. When Dylan saw her, he smiled.

The teacher came down the stairs, arguing. Dumbledore made a bee-line to Harry.

"Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?" Dumbledore demanded.

"No, sir!" Harry said, scared.

"Did you ask one of the older students to do it for you?"

"No, sir!"

"Are you absolutely sure?" Dumbledore asked, softening slightly.

"Yes, sir!"

"And Miss Russo? Did you put it in the Goblet of Fire?" Dumbledore turned to the girl.

"Who's? Mine or Harry's?" Alex asked.

"Yours."

"Oh, then yes. In public. Because I used a middle-age spell," Alex shrugged. Her face was still. She was still numb.

"But of coarse, Mr Potter is lying!" Madame Maxime called out.

"The hell he is!" Mad-Eye Moody snapped at her. "The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object. Only an exceptionally powerful confundus charm could've hoodwinked it. Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year."

"You seem to have had a fair bit f thought... Mad-Eye," Karkaroff came in front of Moody accusingly.

"It was once my job to think as dark wizards do, Karkaroff. Perhaps you remember," Moody said quietly.

"Not helping, Alastor," Dumbledore growled. "This one's yours Barty."

Crouch gulped and turned to face the pair of Fourth years. "The rules are absolute. The Goblet of Fire constitutes a binding magical contract. They have no choice. They are, as of this moment, Triwizard champions."

Alex had that sinking feeling in her stomach... god she was hungry.

"Great... Professor Crumbs? Do you by any chance have a cookie? Or a muffin?" Alex asked.

"I do indeed," Crumbs threw a chocolate muffin to her.

"Thank you." Alex bit into the cake. "Mmm. Nothin' like chuffin like a muffin."

x-x-x-x-x

You Used The G-Word!

Alex laughed as George's mouth attached itself to hers. She was glad that someone wasn't calling her a cheat (or a cookie stealer *cough*Ron*cough*).

"I can't believe it, though," George whispered. "My girlfriend, the Twiwizard champion."

"You used the g-word!" Alex smiled softly.

"Oh, I love you," George muttered in between kisses.

"I love you too," Alex replied, kissing him back.

"I love you more."

"I love you morer."

"I love you most."

"I love you mostest."

"For gods sake... we love each other equally, okay?" George interrupted the argument.

"Fine," Alex agreed. Her echo went on slightly in the empty room: 'fine, cookie, fine'.

"Your echoes broken," George laughed.

"Yeah... I'll get it looked at," Alex laughed.

x-x-x-x-x

Interview With A Bitch, Err, I Mean Witch

Alex smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes at the flashing camera. A reporter known as the ruthless Rita Skeeter came forward. Alex sniggered at her ghastly green outfit.

"What a charismatic six we have here," she smiled. "Hello. I'm Rita Skeeter and I write for the Daily Prophet."

"Then why couldn't you get any better clothes? Or did you just throw up on them?" Alex asked, still playing the innocent.

Rita ignored her. "Of coarse, you know that. It's you we don't know. You're the juicy news. What quirks lie beneath those rosy cheeks? What mysteries do the muscles mask? Does courage lie beneath those curls? In short, what makes a champion tick. 'Me, Myself & I' want to know- not to mention my rabid readers."

Alex was going to throw up. This woman was more self-absorbent than Malfoy!

"So, who's up for sharing?" Rita asked. When no body volunteered, looking away from the reporter, Rita decided. "Shall we start with the youngest? Lovely."

She dragged Harry into a broom cupboard.

"Hey! This is a broom cupboard!" they heard Harry yell. "Let go!"

"Wow. Rita must really want his secrets," Alex snickered.

About three minutes later, Harry came running out of the broom cupboard and hid behind Alex. Alex swore she saw a lipstick mark on his cheek.

"Next," Rita smiled innocently. She grabbed Alex and hauled her into the tiny space of the broom cupboard.

"What?" Alex asked, sitting on the chair Rita was meant to.

"What is you're name?" Rita asked.

"Alexia Russo slash Bart Simpson," Alex replied, eyes glinting in mischief. _Oh! If only Molders could read this! Ha ha! He'd probably blow up in rage!_ "Call me Alex."

"Well, Alex, here you sit, a girl of the mere age of..." Rita gestured for Alex to answer.

"Fourteen. But my birthdays during Halloween," Alex answered.

"-About to compete against five students, three of which have mastered spells you wouldn't have mastered in your dizziest daydreams," Rita continued. "And the other to have a kind of magic you could never possess-"

"You mean American magic? Actually, I'm from America. I have American magic as well as English magic," Alex said, brining out her wands. Her English wand and her iWand were about equal in length but the wooden English wand weighing more.

"Really? Well, that makes you interesting," Rita smiled at the Russo girl. "Can you do a spell for me with that handsome American wand?"

"Sure. Which would you prefer: an elephant trunk or to be tied up?" Alex smiled sweetly. "You know what? I don't care. Grain on Chain on!"

Rita became tied up in chains. Alex found a roll of duck tape in the witch's bag and gagged her so she couldn't speak.

"And I think I'll take that bag of money in there," Alex said, pointing to the witches bag. She took the money and snatched the Quick Quotes Quill from the notebook. "You work for me now!"

x-x-x-x-x

Just A Dream

Alex ran through the forest, twigs slapping her face and nettles stinging her skin. She stopped, unable to go on anymore. She swallowed and saw four podiums ahead. Her parents and brothers atop of each one.

"You're letting your guard drop, Alex. One of us is going to trip you up if you're not careful," Justin smirked. "You're going to lose the competition."

"Yeah, Alex. How does it make you feel?" Max smirked.

"We're so disappointed with you," Jerry glared. "I thought you were my little girl."

"Mija, you're going to die..." Theresa told her daughter, showering Alex in a blizzard-like stare.

"Stop it!" Alex shouted.

"Stop what? We all know it. You know it. That boyfriend of yours is going to stop you from winning," Jerry scowled.

"Daddy? Why are you doing this?" Alex screamed.

Her family laughed and cracked. They broke into millions of jagged pieces, replacing them, her friends. Hermione stood directly in front of her on a podium of white rock. Harry laughed at her, cackling. Ron glared at her and she saw Dylan, his back to her.

"Nobody wants you in this competion, Alex," Harry spat at her.

"We all know you're going to die," Hermione glared at her. Ron laughed harshly at her.

"What's happening?" Alex begged.

"You're dreaming," Dylan told her.

"Quiet you," the voice that Alex loved so much interrupted from behind her. Alex turned, finding herself in a big ballroom, dressed in a black lacy dress. George stood in front of her, a mask over his face.

"Hello, Alexia," George smiled. "Fancy seeing you here."

"George, thank goodness," Alex sobbed, tears arriving from nowhere.

"You're going to die, sweetheart," George told her honestly. "I'll miss you."

"What? Why am I going to die?" Alex begged. George tapped his nose.

"Secrets... you'll lose everything if you don't fight it," he told her.

"What is it?" Alex asked, crying.

"You'll see," George laughed. He put a hand to his face and removed it; the mask part of another mask. Behind it was darkness.

The darkness sucked Alex in. She screamed. She was going to die unless she fought it.

"No!" Alex yelled, falling from darkness.

Alex opened her eyes. She was in her own bed. She raised a hand to her forehead. Her palms were sweaty and her forehead was hot. She got up slowly. Her alarm clock went off and Hermione sat up and got out of bed, yawning and stretching. She turned to see Alex and blinked before pinching herself.

"Alex?" Hermione asked. "You're awake?"

Alex blinked and felt a tears trail from her tired eyes.

"Just a nightmare," Alex answered. _Well... might as well get up._

x-x-x-x-x

Rumours In The Prophet

Harry thrust the newspaper under Alex's nose. She couldn't help but read it now.

_'Me, Myself & I'_

_by Rita Skeeter_

_The Triwizard has started with six champions. You'll note that I have said six. Yes, two extra champions were selected by the Goblet of Fire to compete in the Triwizard ._

_Harry Potter, aged twelve, suspect entrant in the Triwizard . An ugly scar, souvenir of a tragic past, disfigures the otherwise charming face of Harry, whose eyes swimming with the ghost of his past and choking back tears as he started our interview. When asked on his thoughts of the , he said _"I suppose I get my strength from my parents, I know they'd be proud of me if they could see me now."_ As the topic turned towards his parents, Harry starts to cry harder. _"Yes, I still cry about them, I'm not ashamed to admit it_. _I know nothing will hurt me because they're watching over me."

_The other extra entrant is Alexia Russo, also known as Bart Simpson. Alexia is a pretty girl with brown eyes and brown hair. Like fellow extra participant Harry Potter, the girl was sorted into Gryffindor House. She is quite a rare find as not only can she do our kind of magic but American magic, owning two wands. Her brothers, Justin and Max Russo, tell us ' _She's been so strange lately. Ever since she started going out with her boyfriend, George Weasley, she's been acting so random. All she thinks about is him!"_ Her handsome brother, Justin-_

"Yeah, like Justin's really handsome! What is she blind?" Alex wondered aloud.

_- has given some valuable information about her everyday life outside of school. The Italian-Mexican Russo family live above a subway themed sandwich shop they have named Waverly Sub-Station on Waverly Place in New York's Greenwich Village area. Alex is reported to meddle in Muggles lives on a daily basis, thus showing her recklessness. She isn't very competent with her magic and often gets a spell wrong. _"She turned our parents into guinea pigs once… It was so cool,"_ her younger brother, Max, tells us._

_This Muggle raised witch isn't the only champion to have found love within the walls of Hogwarts. Harry has finally found love at Hogwarts. His close friend, Colin Creevey, says that Harry is rarely seen out of the company of one Hermione Granger, a stunningly pretty Muggle-born girl who, like Harry, is one of the top students in the school._

Alex had had enough. She was going to murder Justin right after she tears Max's minuscule brain out of his head and teaches it something worth knowing.

About two hours later, Justin and Max were admitted from the Hospital Wing with broken bones and bruised coccyx's.

x-x-x-x-x

At The Lake Side

"Amazing... amazing," Neville said, looking at plants in his hands he's scooped from the bank of the lake.

"Neville, you're doing it again," Harry commented.

How had she sunk to this level? Hanging out with Neville Longbottom? More to the point, why was she not with George?

"Harry? Why am I here again?" Alex asked her friend.

"Because I begged you and when you said you didn't want to, I bribed you with cookies," Harry answered.

She noticed Neville wave and turned. She tapped Harry and he turned too. He saw Hermione being led by Ron and Ginny.

"Look it's already been through enough people. Why don't you go and tell him yourself?" Hermione whispered to Ron. "Ron this is your problem, not mine. What do you want me to say again?"

Ron whispered in her ear. "Go."

"What's up, guys?" Alex asked.

Ron only glared. Hermione sighed as she came forward.

"Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvati who overheard it from Padma who was telling Neville who was telling Cedric who told Justin who spelled it out for Max who was telling Parvati that Hagrid's looking for you," Hermione stated, looking pained. "And that Ginny overheard Lavender who was telling Parvati who told Max who overheard it from Susan who overheard it from Terry who heard it from Justin who was telling Colin who told Ginny who was telling Hannah who was told that Alex needs to go with you."

"What?" Alex asked, wrinkling her nose.

x-x-x-x-x

Alex and Harry walked underneath the Invisibility Cloak tightly.

"This better be good. I'm missing out on alone time with George," Alex grumbled.

"Shut up, Lex," Harry muttered. If he heard one more word about George, he was going to strangle her.

"Sorry, Mr Grumpypants. Who's jealous now?" Alex smirked.

Harry scoffed and Alex hit him in the chest.

"You pair, bes' be quiet from 'ere," Hagrid whispered, slightly ahead of them. He called ahead to the waiting headmistress of Beauxbatons, "_Bonsoir_, Olympe."

"Oh, Hagrid!" the giantess beamed, her French accent scraping at the walls of Alex's brain. _Ow..._ "I thought perhaps you weren't coming. I thought perhaps... you had forgotten me."

"Sappy loser," Alex muttered.

"Couldn' forge' you, Olympe," Hagrid smiled, his black, beady eyes tinkling in the night light.

"That bastard brought us along to his date with that giant lady!" Alex scowled. Harry put his hand over her mouth and inched closer. Alex countered by biting his hand.

"Ow. You animal!" Harry whispered.

"What is it you wanted to show me?" Madame Maxime asked her date. "When we spoke earlier, you sounded so... exhilarated."

"Yeh'll be glad you came. Trust me," Hagrid said. A loud roar could be heard as Hagrid guided her (and Alex with Harry).

In a massive clearing, six boxes with flames going through slits. Dragons in cages were revealed when the walls of each box burned down. Alex's eyes widened and Harry's hand dropped from her face.

"_C'est magnifique_," Madame Maxime exclaimed. "Can we get closer?"

"Dragons?" Alex yelped when Madame Maxime had moved on enough to not hear her whisper.

"That's the first task?" Harry asked; fear in his eyes as a dragon blew fire in their general direction.

"They're going to barbeque us with dragons for the first task!" Alex squeaked.

"Keep back there, Hagrid," a wizard yelled as Hagrid moved over to the fence that blocked off the clearing from the creatures of the wood. A particularly unhappy dragon breathed fire in a tornado of flames.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Hagrid asked his date.

"It's no good. Stunning spells on three," the wizard that yelled to Hagrid called out. Another burst of flames and the wizard didn't bother with the count. "Three!"

"_Stupefy!_" the dragon-keepers yelled, pointing at the flaming dragon. With the dragon down, they tightened the bars of the cage and chains around the dragons themselves.

"That's Charlie Weasley," Harry muttered to Alex and pointed to the wizard who had warned Hagrid.

"Get out... him? He's too much of a fittie!" Alex exclaimed.

"All right, Hagrid?" Charlie panted, going over to talk to the giant man. "They should be okay now- we put them out with a sleeping draft on the way here, thought it might be better for them to wake up in the dark and the quiet- but, like you saw, they weren't happy, not happy at all-"

"What breeds you got here, Charlie?" Hagrid asked, gazing longingly at the dragons.

"This is a Hungarian Horntail," Charlie pointed to each one when naming them, "There's a Common Welsh Green over there, the smaller one- a Swedish Short-Snout, that blue grey- that brown one with the pouch is an Australian Marsupial- there's a Wyvern over there, the golden one- and a Chinese Fireball, that's the red. I didn't know you were bringing her, Hagrid- she's bound to tell her student, isn't she?"

Charlie was referring to Madame Maxime who was strolling around gazing at the stupefied dragons in something close to awe.

"Jus' thought she'd like ter see 'em, is all, Charlie," Hagrid answered, still gazing at the dragons, each in turn.

"Really romantic date, Hagrid," said Charlie, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"Six... one fer each champion, righ'? What they got ter do- fight 'em? Alex wouldn't stand a chance against European dragons. She's used to smaller American ones," Hagrid told Charlie. Alex felt a pang of hurt and bit her tongue. _At least I don't go around pick-pocketing foreign people who have magical creatures in said pockets, you great big mother-fucking ball of hair!_

"Just get past them, I think," Charlie answered. "We'll be at hand if anything goes horribly and uncontrollably wrong like someone becomes Dragon Food or a human marshmallow with extinguishing spells at the ready. They wanted nesting mothers, I don't know why... but I tell you this, I don't envy the ones who get that Horntail or Wyvern. Vicious things. The Horntail's back end is as dangerous as its front and the Wyvern... it's poisonous and its claws are the equivalent of a pair of a razor to an emo's wrist."

_Stereotyping is a bad thing for a Weasley,_ Alex spat out mentally.

A bunch of eggs were taken to each dragon and Hagrid licked his lips.

"I've got them counted, Hagrid," Charlie warned. "How's Harry?"

"Fine," was all Hagrid could say.

"And Alex?"

"Oh, you know, scary but she's great'," Hagrid muttered quietly.

Alex scowled and projected into the giants head, _I know where you live, Hagrid. Also, your whispering is as loud as normal speech._

Hagrid gulped.

"I heard she's going out with George," Charlie smiled. "I'm glad one of that pair of idiots has got their head screwed on right. Looks like she's a keeper as well, if what Mum's said is anything to go on. _'Really sweet girl, that Alex, really sweet.'_ And then Percy would break in and say something along the lines of _'if by sweet you mean a criminal._'"

_Thank you,_ Alex thought, smiling.

"But Mum won't hear a word against them as a couple. She says that every couple has its quirks," Charlie rolled his eyes. "Like that girl I got pregnant turned out to be a pathological liar. And a convicted felon on the run from the Ministry in Belgium. Sweet, pretty thing with a very big v-"

"I think I've heard enough, thanks," Hagrid interrupted.

"You know, I just hope they're still fine after they face this lot," said Charlie grimly, looking out over the dragons' enclosure. "I didn't dare tell Mum what they got to do for the first task, she's already having kittens about Harry…" Charlie imitated his mother's anxious voice. "'_How could they let him enter that Tournament, he's much to young! I thought they were all safe, I thought there was going to be an age limit!_' She was in floods after she read about the interview. Two Weasleys mentioned and Harry. '_He still cries about his parents! Oh, bless him, I never knew!_'"

Harry frowned and Alex stiffled a laugh.

"Oh, how sweet," Alex cooed.

x-x-x-x-x

The First Task

Alex jumped up and down nervously, shaking her hair about and getting attracted looks from Harry. He, Cedric and Dylan watched as she jumped up and down.

"Boys!" Alex whined. "Don't you have to prepare?"

"Prepare for what?" Dylan asked dreamily, watching her chest.

"My face is up here, Dyl," Alex scolded.

"Yeah and because it keeps moving, those do," Cedric drooled.

"Ew! Edward's drooling over my breasty bits!" Alex screamed and ceased jumping to run and hid behind Fleur.

"Ah, Alex! 'Ere you are. I wanted to wheesh you good luck," Fluer smiled at the hiding girl.

"Thank you, Fluer. Good luck to you as well," Alex grinned.

"Now, why are you 'hiding?" Fluer asked, confused.

"The boys are all staring at my boobs," Alex pouted.

"Ah, but zey are men! Are they no meant to stare?" Fluer pointde out. "You wear 'igh 'eeled (high heeled) shoes, no? You wear short skirts, no? You must learn to enjoy zer attentions. Zey mean you are beautiful."

"Uh... thanks, Fluer, but in England and America it's called perving," Alex shrugged.

At this point a camera flashed and caught Harry and Hermione (who'd appeared from nowhere) hugging. Rita Skeeter was at it again.

"Oi! Skeeter! Managed to get out of those chains, I see," Alex called over. "Found another Quick Qoutes Quill to use? My, my, you are a busy bitch aren't you?"

"I think you mean witch, dear," Rita scowled at the brunette.

"No, I definatley meant bitch," Alex sneered in return.

"You 'ave no place here. This tent is for champions... and friends," Krum came from behind Fluer and Alex.

"Hm. No matter. We've got what we came for," Skeeter smiled sweetly. Alex threw a rubber duck at her. Rita turned. "Who threw that?"

"I did, ma'am. Bart Simpson," Alex smirked. She threw another which hit Rita square on the forehead and knocked the reporter out. Her photgrapher had to drag her away.

"Where are you getting those?" Dylan asked.

"I'll never tell," Alex shook her head.

"Thanks," Harry smiled at Vicky and Alex.

"Good morning, champions. Now- Miss Granger? What're you doing here?" Dumbledore came in.

"Oh, uh, nothing, Professor. Sorry," Hermoine blushed and walked out of the tent.

"Okaaay. Now, Barty?" Dumbledore signalled.

"Champions. In a circle around me if you please. Miss Delacour to my right, then Mr Pleasant, Mr Krum, Mr Diggory, Mr Potter and finally Miss Russo," Crouch instructed, postioning each champion correctly. He held out a purple velvet bag. "Your task is to retrieve the golden egg."

He held the bag out to Fleur. She pulled out a small green dragon with the number two around it's neck.

"Ah, the Welsh Green," Crouch informed them. He held the bag out to Dylan. Dylan pulled out a small brown dragon with a pouch and the number four. "The Australian Marsupial."

Alex felt something wrong. Her palms were sweating. She knew that Harry and she were going to get the most dangerous.

"The Chinese Fireball," as Viktor Krum pulled out his dragon with the number three on it.

Cedric's turn and he got number one with a, "Swedish Shortsnout."

Harry gulped, pulling out number six and the very dangerous Hungarian Horntail.

Alex had been right. Because she had number five and the ancient, venomous and deadly Wyvern.

"These dragons represent six very real, very big dragons," Crouch informed them. "Remember, get past the dragon, collect the egg and the task is over."

x-x-x-x-x

Harry and Alex were alone in the tent. They sat in silence listening as Dylan made a show of the dragon he faced.

"I'm scared, Harry," Alex whispered.

"Me too," Harry answered.

The crowd outside cheered. "Excellent! The WizTech champion has seized his egg! And now, Miss Alexia Russo, facing the Wyvern!" Dumbledore announced.

Filch's cannon went off and Alex walked through the tunnel into the enclosure of the dragon.

The golden egg was in plain sight. She licked her lips and looked for the Wyvern. She turned and found it above her. Alex screamed and ran towards the golden egg. The dragon wasn't having any of it. It flew after her, screeching in outrage. Alex dived behind a rock and pulled out her iWand. She waited. The sound seemed to have dissolved. She saw the mad crowd jumping and yelling but she didn't hear it. She jumped from behind the rock and jumped when the Wyvern scratched at her, it caught her on the shoulder. Alex didn't care she pointed her wand at it.

"This dragon is now not, a gummie bear should fill it's slot!" she yelled. She'd missed and the dragon almost scratched her again. Alex shrieked as she dived and rolled behind another rock, getting closer to the egg without actually getting closer to the end. The Wyvern roared like murder and followed her from the air. The armless dragon jabbed at her with his poisonous talons. She turned, fear in her eyes. She was actually crying. In front of Slytherins. And cute boys. And George. She was angry. She pointed her English wand.

"Stupefy!" she screamed, angry. She ground her teeth as she aimed her iWand. The dragon fell to the ground. "This dragon is now not, a gummie bear should fill it's slot."

The dragon became a green gummie bear. Alex ran past it and picked up the egg. She smiled up at the now roaring crowd. George was almost in tears, his twin patting him on the back. George smiled at her. And then it went dark.

x-x-x-x-x

What's That Supposed To Mean?

Alex stirred. George sighed as he watched her.

"I can't do this anymore," George sighed. He stroked her cheek. "When you wake up, I'm going to be so sorry. I know that. I love you, Alex."

Alex slowly opened her eyes. "Morning, George. What happened?"

"Well, Charlie says that Wyverns are poisonous," George informed her. "You got cut on it's talons."

"Oh. How long have I been out?" Alex asked, trying to lean up but failing miserably.

"Two days," George answered, kissing her forehead.

"Really? I've missed, that, a day of lessons?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It's Monday."

"Oh. Stupid Saturday task."

"Yeah," George muttered, he looked distant for a second.

x-x-x-x-x

"Well, Harry used his broom and you pair just about drew in the coolest ways of doing the task," Ron told her when she was on her feet again. She sat at dinner, cursing herself for feeling better. She ached all over and she hadn't seen George much since she had woken.

"Thanks. Who won? What's inside the egg?" Alex asked, bringing a shaking spoon of treacle tart to her mouth.

"Harry won, actually. You came second because you blacked out and the Wyvern almost ate you," Ron answered. Hermione nudged him in the ribs. "Ow! What? What?"

"Shut up, Ronald," Hermione scowled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron demanded, his tone very much hurt. Like his pride. Wait! What pride? This was the boy who ate like an animal! He had no pride! None I tell you!

"It means that Hermione thinks you need to be quiet now, Ron," Alex smirked. "The egg?"

"Nothing but screeching," Ron said, his mouth full.

"You know the sound of someone scratching their nails down a blackboard? That was what it sounded like," Hermione informed the middle Russo.

She felt someone tapping her shoulder. Justin stood behind Alex, Max just behind him.

"What?" she greeted. She stood from the bench.

"We're just glad you're alive," Justin cried, hugging her close.

"Thanks?" Alex tried.

When Justin finished, Max gave her a small cardboard box. Inside was one of his dead lizards. Alex watched as it crumbled at her touch.

"Thanks, Max," Alex said. "I'll take… good care of it?"

Max simply smiled and walked away, Justin at his heels.

x-x-x-x-x

_**A/N:** Well, I wanted to get this up quickly so you guys could read it! Part two will be up ASAP. Tell me what you think at my bit of drama. I know some of you may throw up from the mushy bits, but I can't help it! Most of my stories include romance. Also, my boyfriend dumped me and I needed an outlet. Hope you enjoyed it!_


	5. AN

Hey guys. You may be expecting a new chapter of this? I'm so sorry for not updating. I've just been SO SUPER MONDO UBER busy that I've just really been writing from inspiration rather than plot. I'll try and get an update soon enough. Thanks to all you supporters.


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